I want to clean up my house. I look at the filth and am disgusted and ashamed. But every time I start cleaning, I think, “In a day it will be just as bad again. I’ll have to clean from top to bottom every day to keep this house clean.” And I feel so exhausted by the mere thought that I give up. When I get the kitchen cleaned, or the bathroom, or the living room, I feel a sense of accomplishment… but within hours it’s a disaster again and my effort is worth nothing.

When people come by I stand in the door and try not to let them look past me at the state of my house. It’s so cluttered, so dusty, so dirty, so gross. Why can’t I be a nitpicky clean OCD person like all those ladies with the beautiful, spotless houses? They have pets. They have husbands. Why is my house different from theirs? Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? I hate living like this but I don’t know how to change.