When I was in school at Indiana State, my roommate was a really handsome blonde athlete. We didn’t get along too well because I was a long-haired smoker. His mother saw me the first day of school and was worried I would corrupt her baby boy. Well mom, I’ve never told anyone this but here are a few things I did:

1. When your son was at class, I got in his underwear drawer and wore his brand new Jockeys (the red ones) to my chemistry lab. My d*** was in those s*** things before his.
2. He was always having boners in his sleep and I would j******* watching his c*** twitch and jump when he would kick his blanket off.
3. The day before school ended for the fall semester, I stole one of his jocks and kept it for years. I shot so much c** into it – it was awesome.

Oh, and one more thing – your son was an arrogant prick and he was constantly cheating on that wholesome young thing back home – the one you wanted him to marry. The dude in the room next to ours would gladly verify how much p**** he had when he spent the weekends at school instead of at home.