i’m homicidal and suicidal. i go to school in Prince George, British Columbia, and I’m extremely introverted. I can’t bring myself to get to know people, because people here make me want to go out and shoot someone in the head. They’re not bad people, I am. I can’t help myself. I have a serious problem in that I can’t go through a single day without wanting to kill someone. I won’t actually do it, but I am afraid that if I’m not careful, I will. i haven’t ever wanted to kill people, not till I got here, because people here make me want to f****** shoot them and get rid of them because they’re so f****** annoying. I sound like a terrible person (and I probably am) but I can’t help how I feel. I don’t know if I need help or if I’m just going through a phase. I’ve tried so hard to try and make friends, but the people I have in my life here right now aren’t people I think I can trust or even like. They’re friends, but they’re friends who rely on me for homework answers and getting them through university. I study hard and get good grades while they party and slack and then copy my answers. I hate them sometimes. I hate myself most of the time. I cry myself to sleep basically every night and even though I am a Catholic, I still have these terrible thoughts and I have resorted to self-harm for a few years now. People always say to try and be happy, and to put myself out there, and that this is something only I have the power to solve, but I can’t even bring myself to that point because I’ve been in this place for so long that I don’t know how to get out, and I’m getting used to being this person. I don’t know what to do, or what to say, or where to go.