I am a pathological liar. I lied that my ex boyfriend raped me to the friends I made once I moved to the city. In fact he didn’t r*** me or he did. It’s hard to remember what actually happened. I implied to him at the time that I was ready for s** and once situations arose in which we could have s**, I would chicken out and tell him to stop but he wouldn’t. He would finger me and it hurt. Then when he tried to penetrate, his p**** wouldn’t fit because I was so damn scared I would try to close up and it worked. After that particular time I made sure that we were never alone together.
Even after this and all the other s***** relationships I’ve had. I still believe I am a virgin because no one has ever been able to penetrate me. I’m still scared of s**. Which is ironic because everyone thinks that I get with a lot of guys.
This is the first time I have confessed this to anyone.