i went into a mental insitution, a few years back…was 12. 13, maybe, i’m not sure. was sent there cause im fucked up, in other ways than what people consider as normal.

but, that’s besides the point. idk, today, well this morning – the memory of what happened, haunts me, while asleep or awake.

it hurts, you know…tried to banish the memory, but it just keeps coming back. i shouldn’t have had to go, but the school i went to forced it upon my mother and i.

we didn’t understand their reasons, why they did this, but after my 8 day stay, with them. we found out…

i have PTSD, but besides that reason. they sent me in, because they thought we needed a vacation – some time apart. they, [the school], said ~we`re doing you a favor~…

that was anything, but that.
my mother, spent restless nights alone, and i wondering why the f*** i was there… when i was 7 i went to a therapist in Cali, i was mostly silent towards everyone, so he told me to draw out my feelings and such.

well, during my days there, i knew nothing but what i did when i was younger. i asked, during a group session…woman looked at me like i was mental. with that one look, i no longer spoke, unless i was told to.

i was point blank, lost. i felt so ashamed, but did they care? Nope.
in the end, when i was back safe with my mother, she told me they offered not only me but her too, to stay with them another year.

mortified, she turned them down. and pratically ran out the door, with me.
man, you probably will never know or understand what happened, but ignore that place as best as possible, for it will scar you, like it did me.

just saying, *sigh*
My life, has yet to begin, and im just like…f*** it, already.