I’ve been in this relationship for about 5-6 years now. In the past we fought a lot more than we do now. We almost never fight now, but when he gets upset, he feels he has to hit, and throw things. There are more than a few holes in our walls because of his anger. I come from an abusive home, so to see him upset that way is well.. normal to me. Everyone gets upset.

Just this week, I found out his dad was put in jail for a while for hitting his mom. I knew that his parents used to fight in the past when he was growing up. But I didn’t realize it was like this. He said he remembers coming home to see his dads blood on the wall because his dad tried to pick a fight with his mom while drunk and she stabbed him with her keys. They truly fought. They’re divorced now of course.

One day his mom came to visit us in our apartment and she noticed the holes in the walls. She asked “What’s this?” He just said “I punched it because I was angry” and she said something like “Angry, why? So you think you can hit things?” He was getting tense at that point and uncomfortable, and I thought it was because he was obviously getting in trouble but then he said something that threw me off at that time. He said it very firm, a bit loud, and almost angry. “I didn’t hit her.” I wish I could remember exactly how the conversation went but at that time I was trying to respect their privacy and not really get involved in their conversation.

Now I understand why the two of them were so tense at that moment.