Today my mom screamed at me for not buying her some food thingy at the store. As she was screaming at me, I put on my running shoes and just walked out the door as she continued screaming “leave u b****! Dont even come back”. And then she locked the door. And I put my headphones on and cried a lot while walking to the park. I was just wearing a tshirt,gym shorts. It was 50 degrees and it started raining but I was so sad so i kept running. (I ran 6 miles in 45). It was really dark. I finished working out and went to the corner store to get myself some coffee (I had only $2 and hadnt eaten all day- by the way there was a cute guy there). So I just walked around the blocks and I was soaking wet and it was colder. I got home at about 9:30. The door had been unlocked. I went to the kitchen and grabbed (well barely could because I couldnt feel my hands) some eggs to eat. Then my mom came out of her room & asked where i had been & turns out she had sent my aunt to go look for me. I didnt even look at her. I just hate getting blamed for things. Ive already been accepted to a lot of colleges, i get good grades, i dont have many friends (i choose wisely), im not getting pregnant, i havent asked her for money to buy myself a tshirt in over 3 months. I try so hard to not be a bother yet i keep getting s*** from her. I still remember when i was 8 & she used to tell me ” i wish i never had you”.

It would have been best if I hadn’t returned from my run. It would be better if I get pnemounia and die. It would have been better if i had never been born.

It would have spared her a bother and it would have spared me great pain.