My husband rejected my s***** advances tonight…. he has never done this…. lately he has just seemed so unattracted to me. I don’t blame him. I am really not all that attractive, and to top it off I have herpes…. not a terrible case, came from a guy who had a cold sore and went down on me, ruined my whole life, before I ever even lost my virginity. I just want to be beautiful. I am chubby and flat chested, I don’t even know why he married me! I am not talented, smart, interesting, or beautiful in any way. The only thing I’ve got going for me is a good job, but it’s not like he’s with me for my money either… he does really well, and doesn’t need me. When we do have s**, it’s just plain awful because it just hurts me all the time, as I am pretty sure I have intractable nerve damage from my past medical history. I don’t let him know how badly I feel about myself, I really do act normally because I know all about how big of a turn off low self esteem is…… but my god. I would do anything to be beautiful. Anything to be beautiful.