I found out today that I may have cancer. I’m 30 and the mother of a 3 year old girl that I love more than anything. I also have a wonderful husband and parents. The thing is, my husband knows but I can’t tell anyone else because it could be wrong and I don’t want them to worry. But I can’t stop worrying. I actually had been feeling like I wanted to die for a long time but now I just want to live. I want to get to be here for my little girl and I feel guilty for even thinking about leaving her. I feel guilty for caring about all of the stupid little things I have worried about. And I feel guilty for being afraid. I should just trust God and all of that but I can’t. I am mostly scared for my little girl though, but in a way that I know is selfish. I am afraid she would forget about me and all of the talks we’ve had and all of the crazy things we’ve done together and how much she loves me and how much I love her. I am not ready to leave her and she needs me still. I know that this is early and I may not have cancer, or if I do it may be treatable. That doesn’t stop me from feeling agony though. I’m so silly.