I had a girlfriend when I was 17. I know I was young, but I genuinely loved her (I still love her) with all my heart. This girl was my entire world. It was long distance, meaning I only saw her every two weeks, which sucked, but was totally worth it. I would have done anything for this girl, yet I still couldn’t stay faithful. I cheated on her three times, with the same girl… One time being at college. I don’t know why I cheated. I didn’t even hide it from her, I told her straight after each time. I hurt this g****** so many levels. The last time she ever stayed at my house, we were having s**, and I took it to a level she didn’t want. I ended up r***** her and making her cry with pain. A fight ensued and I apoligized for my animalistic behavior. We never had a last kiss. When the bus came for her to go home, I was eating onion rings… Which she hated. She gave me a peck and off she went. I wasn’t allowed to see her from then on. We had one last meeting. Where we secretly met in a book store and went into town together whilst she looked for her sisters birthday present. I kicked her phone into a drain, to make sure she had nobody to talk to other than me. When the time came for me to leave, I hugged her and kissed her hair. Nobody will have any idea how much I wish I kissed her on the lips and told her I loved her one last time. I’ve seen her three times since then. All when I’ve been in bad situations; drunk, on drugs and with a new girl. I had a dream that she came back to me. When I woke up, I genuinely thought she was going to be in my bed. If you’re reading this, you’ll know who you are. Please come back to me. Of all the relationships with all the girls since you, I have never loved a single one of them even half a percent of how much I loved you. I tried to kill myself over you. Over and over again. I still contemplate it now. You’ll never know how much I still cry over you. Remember when you were “stupidly happy” we can get back to that. I’ve changed. I promise. I’m nothing like I was.