I get this gay feeling of sleeping with men and I have 4-5 times till now, but all the time I felt nothing, no pleasure, no arousal nothing. It’s like only when I think of it I get aroused not when doing it and on the other hand I have been with many females and have slept with many as well and the experience has always been awesome, I am always s******* satisfied when I am with a women. I’m really confused now. If I don’t enjoy s** or don’t even get an arousal by being with a men then why do I get a urge to have s** with them. When its with a women all goes well. Plus now I am in a very beautiful and committed relationship with a girl, she is the best girl that I can ever dream of and will marry her but during this relationship I slept with two men, didn’t feel anything. And you know what, till now with all the men that I have slept with the moment I entered the room I was out in 5 mins. Yes, I have never ever spent a time more than 5 mins. Then why do I get this urge. I love my girl and would be with her forever I know that very well. Maybe I am weak when it comes to controlling my desires. Because career wise I am strong willed man but its s** that I can’t control. And I seriously want to repent all the wrong doings that I have done. I just wish there was some magic that would just make me strong willed when it comes to s**. I love my girl that’s for sure because I know my feelings are very true.
