I’m schizophrenic and autistic and I pushed away my best friend of 8 years. It hurts so bad and I’m so confused and I feel like I’ve lost everything. I can’t even find a job (ive applied to at least one every day for 2 months) and I was nearly a victim of human trafficking this year. I have a house but its bare, the roof is leaking, and all the windows are broken and held together with trusty old ducttape. I am thinking about hauling my mattress down there so I can lay down and overdose so that I don’t keep emotionally hurting everyone.