I just crave normality (whatever that is) .
I am not an extreme s** addict (I don’t even know what you would classify me as) but I know that most of my long relationships that have lasted consist of raw emotion and constant s**. In the beginning it’s always the same “honey moon” love where it is all amazing and the “spark” is constantly there, & all you want is the bond with your significant other, but through time I just did it to relieve stress. In reality it would make things worse. I know s** complicates things but if feels like that’s all that I can do for them (be some good time f***) I have a well paying job and I’m a pretty independent female with a strong drive. I need to love myself and understand that it is not all about s** and that a person will want you for you, but… Who am I? At times I feel like a robot through appearance and response. I dress professionally but I lack honesty. I tell people what they want to hear (lie) instead of what I should really say. I feel like I do not have a clear opinion on anything & that even If I did it wouldn’t matter. I feel like I am going through identity loss and s** addiction. There is so many more thing that are going on through my head that I can not put down on words but I just wish you (as the reader) could see and understand.
I crave “normality”