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My ex wife , as we are ongoing FWBs without relationship, is aware that i am the secret oral rellief for a select group of older married men in my neighborhood. She knows i dont take risks orput her at risk. She teases me about it and it is fine. While one of the many issues that lead to our divorce included the difference in our s***** comapibility, we have been making the s** work at a surprising frequency if usually still pretty vanilla. But things took a turn overmight. She came by unannounced, which is rare. She has a key and is allowed to drop by whem she wishes but rarely does because she has very mixed feelings about the risk of dropping by when i am on my knees for a man from the neighborhood. I realized she was inside the house waiting for me only after i came back from the backyard shed where i give the men what they need. I waa surprised and embarassed and she was giggling at my reaction. But i watched as she dropped her sundress…she was bare beneath it as she usually is….walked up to me and pulled me in for a kiss. I hesitated knowing full well she would taste what i had just done but she insisted, telling me she knew, and hit me with a deep open mou t mouthed kiss, exploring the residual taste in my mouth. I wa shocked but let her do as she wished. She broke and csught her breath then pushed me back to the sofa aggressively and pulled off my tank and shorts. I was barely seated when she straddled me and sat on my erection. I was looking up into her face but she did not want to look me in the eye. She leaned into me and her face was in my neck and she told me to not speak. Both our climaxes were quick and intense. She caught her breath then rose ans took my hand to the bedroom and we were deep in it again, longer but still intense. After she turned her back to me to spoon and took my hand to her breast and asked me to just listen. I learned that she had gotten there a while ago seen the shed door open to the beautiful day and snuck close and managed to watch without me and the man realizing we were being watched and she stayed there until he had finished and she had gone quietly into the house to wait for me. She told me she didnt even know if she was going to mention it kr keep it her little secret but when she tasted him in my mouth her reservations vanished. Without me saying a word she described her reaction to what she saw and as she did she began to move my hand in hers over her body,ultimately shoving my hand between her thighs to m********* her as she kept talking about what she saw. She rolled onto her back and pushed my head down to her and i ate her ravenously as she moaned about wanting to watch again, up close, wanting to join me on her knees in the shed, wanting to swap the man’s c** after, how dirty it was that i was eating her out with another man’s c** still in my mouth, and came hard when she drscribed wanting him to f*** her and have me clean her after. She even shocked me with another deep open mouthed kiss tasting herself and swearing she still tasted him in my mouth. She worked us back into a spoon and was silent for some time. Eventually she was fidgety and i realized she was in tears. She resisted but i turned her toward me and held her as she cried. Eventually she spoke again telling me she didnt know how to process how it felt to be that turned on by what she thought would disgust her and that she felt she was getting addicted to the s**, and ashamed to tell me that she wanted to be in the shed with me and a man and even f*** him and she started crying again while fighting to say she even wanted to help a man f*** me so she could watch and f*** me after with a man’s c** dripping out of both of us. She went silent and begged me not to talk so i just rose and took her hand and took us to the shower. That of course led to s** again but it was longer and sslower and only about us. After when i walked her to her car she said before she left that she realized her thoughts were very real and knew we would have to talk about all of it again when we were not naked in bed. She asked if she needed to not come over unannounced and i tiold her it no longer seemed necessary if she liked watching secretly. She said that she wanted to talk about all of it again not in the heat of the moment but that she needed me to help her process her feelings and tboughts because she did not trust herself to decide if any of this became reality. I am posting this as a random feeling because like her i am unsure what to think or do moving fiorward and still thinking how insane and toxic it is even for us to be having ongoing s** even without anything else changing or being explored.

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S** coach/leader of the group of neighborhood married men i kneel for came by yest evenin. Vert angry nut not violently so. He said that the way my ex wife had acted was exactly why he and the other men seek my mouth and do not waste their time cheating with women. He said that no men would visit until he straightened me out and i straightened ex wife out. He told me my ex wife was a taboo topic for the current. That the only way men would return was to do what he expected of me and that the other men agreed to let him handle it as long as they were assurred he had. He insistednwe go to the shed, where i was required to strip and bend over a sawhorse. He closed the shed door as i obeyed making it dark. He set my own phone up with light to spotlight my bate upturned a**, and then took off and laid his belt over the sawhorse next to me. I jumpes out of my skin when he roughly shoved my feet apart then pulled my g******* back behind me and used duct tape around them to hold them protruding. Then i was ordered to put my feel together and he bound my knees tightly trapping my g******* back between my thighs. Bound my wrists in the small of my back. I was terrified but he did not care. Bi was thrashed by his helt on cheeks backs of thighs and g*******. Not without mercy but definitely brutally. I was in tears in momentts and begging for mercy but he just reached around and duct taped over my mouth. I know it was less than 30 minutes but seemed endless. Every time my trapped g******* took a direct hit i was dry heavimg from the gut ache. As he struck he was saying the most vile things….was mot going to risk his life or marriage fir a fsggot cocksucker or my stupid w**** wife. I tried to squirm away but he held me by my hair and kept wailing away with the belt and cursing me and her even though she 2as not there. On and on. I dont know how long i was sobbing and gasping, he finally stopped and as soon as he yanked the tape off my legs i collapsed on the concrete shed floor. He didnt say a word he just unzipped his pants and emptied his bladder on me as i lay there. He pulled me up by my hair to my knees and if a man can be described as m*********** with anger, that is what he did, and sorrayed my face with his seed. Then let go of my hair and let me collapse back on the floor. He picked up my phone ended the video recording and sent it to his own phone. To orove to the other husbands he had handled me. Told me that he expected me to have handled my ex wife by the end of the week and to provide video proofand that the other husbands would see it. He swore to me that as soon as i proved i had handled her that things with the neighborhood husbands would resume. He said that dor now i would be the only d*** my idiot ez wife would be getting that he had definite purely lustful interest in her but he did not feel that he wouls be comfortable with having my ex wife relieve his son of his female virginity and it was not ideal but for now my mouth would have to be his son’s outlet as long as i did what was ezpected with her. I am not afraid to do what is expected but i do not have a solid means of presenting it to her and her agreeing. The only motivator i have is i know how badly my ex wife wants the man who took a belt to me to f*** her again. He wrecked her when he fucked her and she wants more of that. Otherwise it would be s***** to show her my bruised cheeks ans thighs, and my seriously swollen and black and blue testicles. Idk maybe if i let her see the video of what i took for us she would step up for her part in this. Now i am simply aching and feeling guilty because i am in part to blame letting my s** with ex wife and the blow jobs i give these men overlap.