the grief I carry everyday over loss. death. failed friendships. estrangements. lack of connections. its so heavy. its gotten so exhausting.
Cyan Nike SB Tiffany low at Mcdonalds
Shoespotter
Listen up Husbands and Boy Friends. Here’s the deal and it could happen. If the Wife or Girlfriend agrees on bringing in some back up. During the warmup time. And you notice his Cream Pie nozzle is larger than yours’s. Just deal with it and let him fill that pie pan. Because mine was canceled to this. But yesterday while shopping guess what. I seen this guy at Walmart. Guess where I ended up at. His place opening up my pie pan for his extra-long nozzle. Afterwards I gave him thanks by cleaning his nozzle. Then unexpectedly his nozzle became uncontrollable and coated my throat with a patch of warm cream pie.
My father was killed in a wreck when i was 3. My mother moved us to live with my aunt (dead father’s sister). Therapists have helped me work through the f’d up trauma bond we all suffered from for nearly 30 years. My mother and aunt were extremely possessive and intentionally raised me to believe that no other woman would love me like they did. They took their grief and loss and over compensated by smothering me as the only piece of my dead father they had left. I lived at home through college and became quite successful in my job, but the trauma bond kept me living with them anyway. Call it grooming or Stockholm syndrome or whatever you wish but i get that the reality is that they were very effective with the brainwashing As if my emotional immaturity wasn’t enough to hold me back from being drawn to girls and women as i grew, i learned after their deaths how they had worked together behind the scenes to prevent or sabotage any budding relationship i might have ever had. Both of tbem died from cancer. I am still working with a therapist to try to gain basic social skills and emotional maturity but it is a very real struggle. Thanks to their grooming i dont make the effort to date often, because i am trapped in the headspace of a woman i am drawn to may leave or abandon me or wont love me enough or i will disappoint her. And my self sabotage works both ways. I convince myself i will disappoint them. The part that both the therapist and i recognize is the worst part of all is how impossible it feels to overcome the s e x u a l detachment and desensitization. From the day my mother and i moved in with my aunt, the grief and loneliness and depression they were goimg through (i was only 3 remember) meant that ae all slept together. And since they were master manipulators, no surprise, when my body went through puberty they made sure i had that helpless attachment. They had not educated me about any of that arena, but since they kmew it was coming, they got me hooked on intimate touch (their touch on me only, i was told d not to touch them) and all three of our bare bodies every night in the shared bed. Therapit and i are discussing various things, even hypnosis, to see if there are rrepressed memories of pre puberty s** ( not that i want to know or recover such memories). It did not to my memory become s***** untl my first w********. It freaked me the f out but they “nurtured” me throigh that total ignorsncr and freak out but the dynamic shifted after that. They would touch me and teach me to touch them how they wanted. It was all touch only but they obvoously used every night of laying bare together night after night to keep me helplessly addicted to their touch and keep me hooked on o r g a s m by their hands night after night. Evemtually they taught me to pleasure them without penetration so i becsme a very capable lover to them both iremained a virgin. That changed a few days after my mother passed. In bed with my aunt that night she took my virginity. Of course it was brief but over the coming days i learned how to become a true lover to my aunt. It was addicitve and obsessive to us both. I managed to summon the courage to ask her, if this could have been happening all along, why hadnt it? She said it was the one rule my mother had i nsisted on. But with her gone, she no longer felt it was a voe she had to maintain any longer and that she deserved it even more tjsn i did. For the next 4 years my aunt and i were a couple in every way. Date nights, trips, entire weekends barely leaving the bed. One night while we were going at it very intensely she cried out my dead fsther,s name and did mot realize it. I eventually brought it up and she was horrified and i insisted on the truth. My father had been grooming my sister her entire life and even after marrying my mother he had brought his sister into his marital bed. I was told things i would never havr wanted to hear. I was confused and angry and packed and left for over a week. I came back after convincing myself that it had always been about my father, never about me at all. You would think that that ws more than enough to make me break away, but i was emotionally and s******* addicted to my aunt, amd i was terrified of being alone just ss she was. I was with her until she died and the void of that final loss drove me to therapy. The worst part? Lying awake at night longing for both of thrir hands on my body.
It’s like this breakfast place I deliver to every day.
I go in there today to a busy kitchen equal number of guys and girls working there and the have some heavy music cranking out. I don’t know who but it sounded alright.
I go out come back and the...
So say all of who?
I never said that. Speak for yourself… She is a he. A weird one.
TW! whenever im in the shower or im not wearing much if not any clothing i alway feel like his watching me its the most uncomftibale feeling ever, i know his in jail now but it still scares me so much, i dont know how to not feel that way...
I made a mistake staying in a dead end relationship. I should have left years ago. I never should have wasted years on this . I believe I made a horrible mistake. Full of regrets .
Thank god I never touched him. Thank god he never touched me ....
i think she stopped loving me after she hooked up with that girl in secret.
I have a bf .But I don’t think he loves me. He never compliments me , never . hes still hung up on an x. Im bored . he’s not my forever . hes a friend . but that’s all it’s ever been . we are strictly platonic . frankly...
Its ok if I lost the game of love while on earth . I hope God has something special in place for when I die. Its all I really hope now.
Manners , modesty . Morals . standards . are any good guys left ?
Are there any more normal straight men left in the world? Single? 50 + that havent given up on finding a woman like myself . I feel such a sense of lack of hope.
S** is not the objective n my life. I want more than that . I...
Im lonely sometimes. It would be nice to meet an equal in life. Someone kind and hard working . someone normal. If there’s anything like it left . I miss being touched . hands held. Kisses . hugs . I don’t ask much . I just wanted some one to...
C***’n’balls
The kind of stuff In would come up with is Dave Matthews kind of thing. I am not a big fan of Dave Matthews, but I don’t dislike his music but I have seen videos where he describes his style of writing and what makes his music what it is...
Worst day in a long time today.
Nothing to do with people, or loss, of sadness, or out of my mind over a woman, but the kind of day where it’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, and I feel I need to maybe move on...
Im not a divorced loser. Never been down that s***** road . I believe in love. I believe in marriage. But I believe in being Independent. I refuse to ever depend on a man. I do not want to be his mommy . I want to be his lover ,...
Im lonely , not gonna lie. But I love my freedom. Im in charge of my own money and life. Im not indebted to anyone . plus I have my own dreams and ambitions. I love being me.
I love my freedom. I just do. I do not want to be tied down to kids or a man that needs a mommy. Im too old for those games .
I only hate being alone in bed late at night or celebrating holidays alone . being a 3rd wheel is no fun. But I like my alone time any other case .
Are you kidding me?! I love being alone in public restaurants. I get my time to just myself. Love it. I hate being distracted or disturbed.
Love my time alone . loooove it
I need some latin c*** but ill settle for some n***** d*** tonight.
Rottweilers are ugly. That’s a black man’s dog.
Do the math, people.
Clark Hallisey is a Poo Poo Man
Russia has dug HUGE trench lines to defend the Donbass area. Tank stoppers called Dragons Teeth have been put in place.
The Nazis are going to be stopped. NATO is going to be stopped. Russia says the NAZIS have a nuclear bomb they intend to detonate if they lose....
love is blind which is why you are all here.
Nature created the ocean , I dare you to swim it from shore to shore . Atlantic to the pacific …its nature .
or run naked outside in the middle of a snow blizzard . idiot . Its nature .
Use your head ya moron .
Nature created you , god help us. Your an idiot . wow are you ever !
Natural ? How about my wanting to smack the living s*** out of you . you really are an idiot . gonna let me beat you? Its nature ! Lolol
Nature created the grand canyon , yet I doubt ill see you jump off into it . moron.
Just because something of nature happens , doesn’t make it something to partake . that is dumb to think a 5 yr old should have a child .
You really are an idiot !
PS I was 10 when I started my period .
lol i guess your dad raped your mom and called it love then gave birth to a piece of turd like you
I’m just a star
Dog
Cham-pi-on
www .mediafire. com/file/9ymyvdjfau8lpzc/InShot_20221019_232038854.mp4/file
I was thinking about this other woman I work with who is a Pearl Jam fan. And when I say fan, I when I see her once a week as ask her how many pearl jam concerts she been to...
I currently put the odds of the Ukraine thing escalating into World War III nuclear Armageddon at +125. Thinking of parlaying that with the over on tomorrow night’s Lakers-Clippers game (224).
Or blue balloons . I find them s*** in the right light .
I love red balloons . s***
My friends who got me hooked on cigs weren’t there when I had to under go cancer treatments. Biopsies . surgery .
Needless to say i don’t associate with trash or burn outs. Hell no.
Quitting 4 packs of cigs (120’s) a day was one of the best things I ever did.
Cold turkey. Needless to say my “friends” are all gone . good riddance .
I am ready to try and really get serious about weight loss.
F*** you to the “friend” who got me hooked on crack, meth and s*** when I was in a dark place. I abused my prescription morphine pills today and I can understand why that fucker overdosed over 20 times on heroin. I won’t end up like him though.
I had my gorgeous hair chopped off last June . I hate my hair. Its terrible. Its too short . I miss my pretty hair.
Im struggling right now to get the weight off. Gotta be a way .
I have 70 lbs to lose . help me god . I have no idea how to do it
