the grief I carry everyday over loss. death. failed friendships. estrangements. lack of connections. its so heavy. its gotten so exhausting.
You can string anything together if you have all the yarn, could be a seamstress.
Feeling guilty about spanking my daughter
I wrote a few days ago about never being comforted by the people who I love and who claim to love me. like most confessions I make here, I often start to reevaluate after I hit submit and will eventually begin to feel more level headed about whatever dramatic confession of emotion I decided to spew. this is not one of those times. I had a procedure today- invasive and painful. i knew it wasn’t going to be comfortable, but then afterwards I got bad news from the results. yeah, as I suspected for a long time, I’ve got cancer in me. pre-cancer, anyway. but the doctor let me know today that considering how young I am and other aspects of my history, I shouldn’t have these huge pre-cancerous growths in me. and I mean huge. how often do you have a doctor look at you and go “wow, that was the largest polyp I’ve ever seen in a 24 year old.” anyway… after this, my boyfriend of 6 years drove me to our house, almost completely all in silence. go inside, no real words spoken. nothing to say about it. any of it. just flops onto the couch and tells me he has a headache. makes me make him food and tuck him into our bed because he ALWAYS flops onto the couch when we get home, and then proceeds to complain about how uncomfortable it is to sleep on it and how sore he is. he at least tells me he loves me, I suppose, but nothing else. I say “I love you more”, like I frequently do, which is supposed to prompt a “No you don’t”, and a short reason as to why HE loves ME more. this time, he just says nothing nothing. nothing nothing nothing. now I get to go upstairs, cook myself a meal after being asked not to eat for 3 days, and then sit alone in my living room with only my thoughts. these f****** thoughts. why do I never get to be the baby. why do I never get to be the one tucked. why do I never get to be the one who gets their back scratched and their hair played with until they sleep. why do I never get asked if I’m okay. it’s like I was open with a disease that makes it so that whenever I’m upset, or hurting, or crying, I give off a noxious gas that makes everybody sick. I hate it here.
Why would he say I dont act like a Christian? All I did was …quietly ..walk into the restaurant. Why would he say that ??
He talked crazy. About killing children . and he really thinks no hell exists . Hes really nuts
Why would he say something sooo mean ??! I really don’t know
Im a Christian. Not perfect. But im a Christian and proud of it
I have wanted to die since i was 11. I haven’t told anyone. I feel so bad everyday I can’t take it anymore. Please. What do i do
who pays their Netflix. avoiding their issues, r they single. have crushes?
sometimes when i cry to no one but myself i feel that there isn’t a god. when i cry to MYSELF i feel i AM god because it is me who is responsible for fixing and maintaining life as I know it.
wow as i wrote that i remember...
I recall a highschool teacher or someone at work praising how I always answer “excellent” in high spirits when I was asked “how are you”. Now, I robotically answer “I’m okay, thanks. you?”. But in truth? No. I am NOT okay. Not since a girl I was willing to spend...
I struggled in getting my first job after MBA My girlfriend died My father also died I am reporting to a person I worked with I denied promotion … Despite all odds, I have not given up and dream of bouncing up
indoor band class meant everyone loud try sound good together. It’s Wrong.
Fall in line or get cut like cancer
If you make him bleed they no longer believe. If you kill him everyone knows just how easy it is to take a man out on this planet.
Nashville Zoo animals left outside in ticks in Summer… cruel and unmedicated Bipolar Disorder.
won’t run in early AM on GFuel and selfie the old way, “brawadis” no job but Lexus F-Sport. Vons won’t afford that.
Money time. All the businesses in Franklin, Tennessee, Williamson County.. confederate flag on Seal.. Pay. Stop their Illegals.
I don’t think I can pass this kidney stone on my own. I’m dealing with the sickness, pain, and lack of sleep entirely on my own. Instead of helping me and being there for me you chose to plant a vegetable garden with your boyfriend. Is a vegetable garden really...
I feel so alone right now. I have a boyfriend and he’s supposed to love me and take care of me and make me feel special but he doesn’t. I feel so unwanted. I know he’s a good guy and he doesn’t mean to hurt me but I just can’t...
my 3yr relationship just ended, which was the whole thing keeping me together. i guess it’s finally time to do what i should’ve done 5yrs ago.
I grow up as a lonely kid. Used to see my father 5 to 6 months a year (due to his job), and my mother had my two sisters and little brother to take care of them, dding to the fact all of my cousins are girls, and all...
Yesterday there was a shooting at my school. Luckily I wasn’t there but hearing my friends stories brought up a, I guess a form of ptsd. Because 4 years ago at my old school a criminal broke in and we had to go in lockdown. I remember the sheer look...
I felt lonely all my life. Everyday i feel like im supposed to be somewhere, somewhere else. No one knows this. I am afraid that I will get old and wither away without ever feeling like i belong.
I feel so alone.
child protection services failed. “cps” USA has ~74% Obesity or Overweight.
psychiatrist, psychologist never been thru the system, wrong even more. “enthusiasts” in college is mental disorder
I got s******* harassed verbally and s******* assaulted (groped to be more specific) a total of four times in my lifetime, all in middle school. I’m still 16. I never pressed charges.
Perry Kalynuk
how r they hired with college loans not paid. College was to avoid retail, manual constant labor.
I am here to confess my undying, unconditional love for my exboss-slash-colleague-slash-friend. He sometimes jokingly says he’s bisexual but I know he’s straight. It aches me that you have a loving wife and a more loving little daughter and that you are so involved with them that you cannot see...
ADHD meant Bipolar Mania, not give a Stimulant.
Lately I’m just so tired, I hate myself so much that I want to hide from the world. I’ve picked up bad coping skills and honestly idk if im going to make it much longer.
almost yelled in McDonald’s playroom after trauma “father son chaldean show” on YouTube yrs ago. I said no pickle
a loan for hospital birth means already can’t afford college. ~10k? (hospital birth). awful.
until September to see what happens with Trillion* loan of 31T USA debt, that was used to prevent shutdown (gov)?
Im done. Let me have time to process this again. If you are who I think you are- this will only make me scared. even more. and this only would strengthened the fact that this is real. Im not dumb, Im just trying to settle things. You knew my feelings....
homework, then mashed potatoes, milk, a meat, like Christmas Story movie then school and find a date and talk job.
I’ll take you into the cookie and work you over with one hand and finger blast you with the other.
Goodbye Star Stealing Gurl, please don’t forget me.
I hate living with these people. ive never met people that were so annoying and kept crossing my boundaries. sometimes i don’t even feel human around these people, because i keep getting dismissed. i wish i could become a millionaire and go far away from here. i would be so...
I’ve met my soulmate. I’m sure of it. I’ve genuinely never felt like this even remotely about another person. But I just found out he’s in a long term relationship. I need to get it out. It hurts.
I know I fucked up. I’m sorry. I’ll behave, just call off your dogs. I’ll never bother you again. Ill never be a creep again. Ill never threaten anyone again. Please just save me. Give me one more chance. I’m f****** begging you.
What a s***** day.
