you scratched my paint! prepare for surgery! ✒️
Decepticon Knockout
No cuts, no scars, no bruises, crack yer head open with my rusty crowbar
Prevail Wonder
No, me having autism doesn’t automatically just make me a genius, dear [IRL FRIEND]. It has crippled my social life, and my only permanent friend for years has been some guy I met online. Wouldn’t you like having to constantly move around neighborhoods and towns and cities and countries and continents and lack any real companionship outside of the voices in the back of your mind.
Where the f*** is the goddamn moon
Teach a niggaa some manners Bap bap bap no top 5.
Vanauley Glock
I met my future wife in college. We became friends but didn’t date since she had several boyfriends right after one then another. She would often tell me about a new boyfriend and about f****** him. I finally got to ask her out when she was single for about a...
I work with technology. We used voice notes, videos, texts, and also e-mails to make a new so called “digital echo.” It was meant to be a comfort tool for some…
I was a backside engineer for a shady firm. My path was to monitor the conversational drift…. of...
I wake up in the morning and shave my head. Repeat the next morning and I see no change. Went from rags to riches and Calvin Klien undies .
-Luciano Locosquad
I’m so skitzophrenic, pitbull – terrier. They call me a skitsoterrier .
Madchild 57
Got chu in my sight 😏 b****💥 That’s all black at night 🌙
WhiteBoix6ix
Jan 19, 2008 — Martz family of mcconnellsburg pa, knobsville Pennsylvania, hustontown pennsylvania hate vincent eugene martz mcconnellsburg pa**Igor vincent e martz mcconnellsburg pa is the traditional stock character or cliché hunch-backed assistant or butler to many types of villain, such as Count Dracula or a mad scientist, familiar from...
komme hier you fattasss americano trash man, you not worth of european man bunn so i cut that motherfuckerr off yer shithead and ash my cigarette on your neck bruder like we do in Istanbul.
-The Adventures of man bun milos.
Theres a kid on my team named Osama Epstein
-Tracy Morgan
A brief history of some of the historic users of this website, as well as Secrets Anon, Raw Confessions, and Simply Confess.
Mr Knife – since 2025 The J0KER- since 2025 Jimmy Holloway – since 2025 Certi2x – since 2024 A thoughtful skitso- since 2024...
your pal got a piece of gum stuck between his B*** cheeks
-wayne from Letterkenny
Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you, I move the stars for no one ✨️
Jareth The Goblin King from Labyrinth
Buddy, you’re the aszhole here, I’m just suffering from bad luck, fuckk.
HughAss Jackassman
your celly lookin like a snack imma devour him
-beef tank from cell block 6
Clink my beer as your head hits the floor, James has had too many drinks tonight folks!
Irish Alcoholic Assholes
Thank Jesus another year of being mall Santa is complete. Unemployed until Easter now Come at me bro
Mall Santa Claus FML
Yuck fou, I’m going to Pizza Hut and stuff my face. Fck Burger King, greasy mayo slime food.
I’m gsy
Its ok niigga, you can tell your n***** and the undercover polizei to chill because im cool as hell 🥶🥵
Trae The Truth
After I stole your Christmas tree 🎄 Max Impregnated your guinea pig 🐖 and I stretched Cindy Lous b*** hole 3x the size.
The Grinch
Did i say something mate? you want a black eye to match our beef son?.
Ronald McDonalds
Oh yeah? Talk tough again and I’ll brush your teeth with an Italian brick
Loud Mouth Larry and his “mob connections”
Stick that Christmas tree higher up your assholee the more you scream
Evil Santa
If you misbehavior I’ll pull out your teeth on Christmas and string them around your tree and neck
The Mindfuck Explained The central ambiguity of the film stems from a visit by the protagonist, Douglas Quaid, to a company called Rekall, which specializes in implanting fake memories of exciting lives. Quaid, a construction worker unfulfilled with his life, requests a memory of a secret agent mission to Mars....
Diablo saw blades cut through flesh with ease! Just install a splash guard! Now at Home Depot 🏡
Mr Knife 🔪
Carl Hauser is Douglas Quaid, or is he?epic shootouts, memory implants, martial arts, and even a three-breasted prostitute named Mary!
“If I’m not me, then who the HELL am I?”
Total Recall 1990 now in theaters!
Ayo its face tat Freddy And he’s got some new ink Let’s check it out
WICKED FOR GOOD SPOILERS!
Fiyero becomes scarecrow. Bick/Bach becomes tin man. Gulinda sends Oz away. Alphaba doesn’t die, hides in a tunnel. Alphaba loves scarecrow. Wheelchair chick Nessa dies! Bock hates Nessa Nessa is evil.
I could pull your heart out of your chest and leave it as an ornament on the Christmas tree
Hi i just have a pickup. my name is Bernard.
NOW in Theatres!
Cynthia Erivo is Elphaba “Wicked” Ariana Grande is Glinda
Wicked For Good.
Only in Theatres.
Rated PG.
We been givin’ too many n***** these passes (too many) F*** it, drop a bag and cash it (f*** it) Who gonna press ’em the fastest? (who?) Extendo barrel elastic, new attachment, s*** get tactic (tactical)
Migos atl
This Friday! The finest men in America don’t run for President. They run for their lives!
Ben Richards is “the running man”
Only in theatres.
Rated PG-13
NOW in theatres!
As requested
The Running Man (2025)
