I got my d*** sucked in the toys r us Barbie doll section in a shopping cart by a fucken transvestite

I was in need of medication for my sickness, the pills helped me heal, and live a better life!
-David, 75, currently deceased.

It’s called a blowfish for a reason, that fish loved my c***.
-Steve from pet smart.

I graduated from university with my BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing). I wasn’t sure what specialty I wanted to pursue and I didn’t want to get my hands dirty. I wasn’t about to work 12 hour shifts and exhaust myself. So I thought about going back to university to...

Females are toxic on dating apps, crazy unrealistic 6ft, 6 figures, 6 inches BS. I broke down and bought a b**** for the night to cash in my V-Card.

I told her about how women s*** towards good guys, so I had to pay for one that knew her...

When I was about ten, I wanted to develop my pectoral muscles, having seen how they can look in comic books. I liked the look, and decided to work toward it.

I found that if I held my body weight on a set of parallel bars it worked the...

After many years of discussion, my wife and I decided to have a “Cuckold” experience. She made the conditions. One the man must be at least 5 years younger than her but not more than 30 years. We are in our 50s.
The last conditions were a little demanding...

I told kylie from Scotland when she fell asleep I was gonna tattoo a bunch of p**** on her arm

All of the residents in my head are like an apartment building , only, they can’t leave.
-real life skitzo.

I want to f*** Julia in her Honda

P**** GOES IN A**

my cousin snuck in my room and started playing with my w i e n e r while i was “asleep” and then he put some wet stuff on my b u t t h o l e and i felt him sliding his w i e n e r...

my cousin and i are both boys and our parents made us hang out while they went out of town for a few hours. they told me that i had to play with him and do whatever he wanted because he doesnt come over often and that if he told...

Shithole Canada needs to deport all Indians and Chinese

This eazyano rapper guy was a fucken cop dawg

Does anyone around Miami need a b****** or want to pump a backsnatch? My name is Cory Valice in Facebook and I’m looking for hot and ready hogs. And no I’m not Corvallus my name is Cory. NO LOADS REFUSED!

Hey yeh

Germany is a superior country

Toronto is hell

Corey Fila makes music for guys who paint their nails

I pulled out her eyeball, socket still attached and ate it like a meatball.
-Demon Kane.

Canada is a shithole ruined by Indians and Chinese

My uncle let me and my cousins get wasted at his house and he kept making everyone drinks that were strong as heck but they didnt hit quick so we chugged em fast and abiut 5 of them babies down and we were all naked slurring and having a riot....

CORVALLUS MOTHERTRUCKING WINSLOW!

Available now at your local truck stop or pickle park! Name the place and I’ll spread my ashe! Whether you’re driving a Kenworth or a Peterbilt or even a Volvo put me in the sleeper and you’ll see I’m a keeper! Put me in the back...

Arute

I began taking an interest in my 52 yo adopted mom.She was small and attractive but i soon realized she was leaving her bathroom door open on purpose for me. Often i would relieve myself, i knew it was wrong in a way but i thought if mom was agreeable....

i hade just joined the navy and reported to my first ship i was assigned to #2 boiler room my boss was a 38yo first class i was 17, One night after watch i was taking a shower ancame into the head and we talked some next thing i knew...

But those nice big fat tampons give some boys an erection. That way you can tell which boys like it up the a s s .

Tampon Tim Walz, a nice big fat tampon for every boy’s an-al opening. Shove it in!

Then the boys will know what the girls have to go through!

Have you ever laid a n**** out on the pavement?

We have always had a very active s** life up until about a year ago. I was working long hours at a new job, one that was very stressful and just seemed to lose interest in s**. I knew my wife was frustrated and I tried but most of the...

My dad just dared me to let him f u c k me. My dad watches p o r n on the living room tv and drinks a s h i t ton. He doesnt have a go easy mode and has about 10 cases of 24 beers in each....

Corvallus Winslow why I remember him, he sucked my pecker after the sock hop back in 1996. Old Corvy Winslow even gave my crack a tongue bath in the back of my Mercury Bobcat wagon in the Robert’s Hamburgers parking lot. That kid had a tongue like an anteater.

I worked on production of the Harry Potters films. There were lots of young girls in the films. There was one with reddish brown hair who I introduced to the co c k, giving her the first f u c k she had. I banged her lots of times after...

My old girlfriend Molly Kreider in Springfield Ohio, came home drunk one night and lifted her skirt up and showed me her p****. It was obvious she cheated.

Neither of us spoke as she climbed on top of me and put her a** right in my face. I ate...

He will be the Best Man at our wedding. LOL!
I’m sure he will be. He will be THAT and much more! LOL!

My fiancée told me she has been giving bl ow jobs to her older brother for years. Started when she was a little girl.

Then she added that she wasn’t going to stop having a ‘close relationship’ with her brother. She considers it normal. She says he needs to...

Raw dog ent might be the worst set of Rappers I’ve seen yet

Last spring our nephew came to Spring Break. While in the area he had stopped in to say hello. We talked him into taking him out to dinner and staying the night. Afterwards we were sitting on the back porch drinking beers and smoking pot. Apparently, I became the main...

So I don’t know why I’m putting this out there on this website, but oh my gosh. I just had my first interpersonal s***** experience. My boyfriend and I were having a long talk (online), as we often do, telling each other all sorts of things about each other, and...