If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe.

How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked.

How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.😄

What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards? “Dill me in!”

What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.

Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.

Discovering my mom’s p******.
I was maybe 13-14 and one day I am playing in the basement and we had this clothes chute from the bathroom and the door was on a spring and went BAM whenever anyone threw something in it.
So I just happened to be...

nearly confessed to someone and f*** i realized i’m out of his league

The address is s e n d v i d . c o m / cjkcwsau

I am 71M. I played with my c*** in video. sendvid.***/cjkcwsau

What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows.

How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.

What does corn say when you give it a compliment? Aw shucks!

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game? All of the fans left.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…

What’s a cats favorite color?? ..purrrr-ple.

What’s the most musical part of the chicken? The drumstick.

What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.

How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

I feel terrible. Sugar makes me sick. Diabetes is killing me . I really hate this feeling. I just feel the need to sleep forever . Im sooo tired .

I need to exercise. I happen to feel very sick. I ate too many jelly beans. Wish I could exercise. Im just too sleepy right now. All I wanna do is sleep.

How does an octopus go into battle? Easily…Well-armed.

What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.

Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner’s on me.

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast! 🤗

I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

Send em back, build a wall for all illegals. They don’t deserve our continent we built together, Who said they could just abandon it and come ruin our water and land. INS INS INsS

What chip? You trying to see through the winder, stay gay hoe. Stay the gay away from me. I’m not your savior

Minecraft fortnight and late night crying

I want incubus syndrome

I’m in the process of rewiring my brain.
No strong substance no blacking out. Witch means I am in control of myself now.

I’ve smooched and drained some hairy hogs down in Monterey myself 🤜🏼 fistbump bro

Corvallo Winslow

When I was 11 I had my first toxic friends. Yeah, super exciting. I didn’t realize until now that I’m 14 how freaking toxic they were. They controlled who I was friends with and told me to dump any friends that they didn’t like bc apparently “they were toxic”. Please,...