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i injected ketamine into my right deltoid and realized i had no water to drink. by the time i was in the kitchen i was dissociated as hell trying to remind myself im a person in a kitchen trying to get ice cubes and filtered water into my tumbler

it hit much much harder than it did when i tried it in my vastus lateralis. i injected nearly 80mg which is over 1mg/kg for me. im still feeling it a little. apparently the comedown is longer than IV but way less than IN. its 3am now and i have some powder and some sterile solution left in the vial to inject into my vein. ive been trying to get the out of body ketamine experience during my trips but still havent gotten there during my last few for a while now even with needles involved. i was a little closer tonight though, without overwhelming my system or anesthetizing myself

i usually take it once every few months or so. i take medication with a needle every week so im used to them but not used to plunging the bigger thicker ones down deep into my muscle like that. the painful pressure feeling is hard to get used to. and the deep ache that lingers for a few days. i got a little sweaty and lightheaded seeing and feeling an inch of stainless steel sink into my body. there’s that animal instinct part of me that doesn’t want to shove metal into myself and cringes at what im doing but another part too that finds fascination in the sensation and resistance to the needle in the different layers of tissue.

i’ve found it fun and interesting to experiment with all the ways of administering this drug and learning more about my body along the way. exactly where the arteries run down my arms or where major nerves might be hiding.

i dont really have something to finish this off with. it was fun, painful, and interesting. the comedown for IM seems to be 2-3 hours long so far. i stayed up very late to do this. i may augment with nitrous next time.

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One of my aunts came down after my dad died to help around the house and my mother was coming in my bedroom a lot and my aunt ask her what was she doing in my bedroom so much. Well my mother told her the truth of what we were doing and she said that she wanted some too. This is the aunt I never would want to cheat on her husband and she told my mother that she wasn’t getting at home and she wanted to try me out. So my mother asked me if I wanted to give her a shot and I said yes. She dressed up very s*** and came in my room. We started slowly like kissing and very little touching. Then I put my hand on her p**** and slowly started to rub her c*** and then more and then one finger went inside her and then two. She took of her underwear and opened her legs for me and then I went down on her and her husband never did that to her amd I even rimmed her a**. She started to c** and I put my lips right over her lips and started sucking her c***. Her c** was all over my face and then she guided my c*** deep inside of her and that’s when we first did it I was f****** her and pounding her really hard I couldn’t help it she was the one that I never thought I would have s** with out of the whole family of my mom’s she was so dedicated to her husband and I knew that and I asked her if it’s okay if we keep doing this while she’s here and she said yes she wanted me to come inside of her as much as possible to get her pregnant and I asked her if the if she gets pregnant will you know it was me or somebody down here she said yes you’ll know it was somebody he just don’t know who but I want to have s** with you everyday now I’m going to be here a whole month so we’re going to f*** every single day I told her okay she wanted to have my baby and I was going to give her one and my mom kind of disagreed with that but it happened I got her pregnant and when she went back home she was pregnant with my baby but nobody ever knew except for my mom and my aunt and me she had a little baby girl and her husband thought it was his cuz they did fool around a couple of times right after me and her did so he thought it was his which is a good thing but the next time she came down the little girl wasn’t that little anymore she was already 8 years old and her mother and I did it again and she asked me if I would do the daughter too so I did I did my own daughter I ate her out I fingered her a lot just getting her ready for my c*** and I did I spent a whole day with her in my bed f****** her every which way and she loved it we fucked with the rest of the time that they were here which was 3 weeks and I fucked that little girl so much every day it was at least five times a day that we fucked and we fucked in every single room in the house and I got her pregnant at the age of 9 years old she just turned nine when she got pregnant when I got her pregnant it was her birthday down here so that was her birthday present at 9 years old.