There is a place called the Lion’s Den. It’s a pub run by tough men for tough men, like me, who bodybuild. Men must have a minimum of 18-inch guns (biceps, for you candy-assed faggots) to gain entry. The ground floor is for the absolute monsters with 24-inch guns, because let’s be honest, no bodybuilder with that much mass wants to be walking up stairs, especially after a brutal leg day. The second floor is reserved for men with 18-plus-inch guns.
The night I finally earned my 18-inch guns, I got in. At the door, the head bouncer didn’t just use a cheap tape measure; he pulled out a heavy-duty, laser-calibrated steel caliper. He made me step under a direct spotlight and hit a mandatory double-bicep peak flex to ensure I wasn’t just holding water retention. My arms hit 18 dead on.
As I walked into the venue, the atmosphere was intense. Everywhere you looked, men were constantly flexing their arms, chests, and lats in different positions to show off their definition. One massive guy at the bar was casually drinking a pint with his left hand while hammering out his 40th rep of a heavy dumbbell curl with his right.
As I headed toward the bar, a lot of men started singing to me: “He’s young, hung, and gonna f*** her up her b**! He’s young, hung, and gonna fill her full of c**!”
The men cheered me on toward the bar for my first drink in the Lion’s Den. Then I understood why they sang what they did. At the bar was an 18-year-old blonde s***. She was thin, wearing black heels, a short black s*** skirt, and a mesh black top.
The men shouted for me to f*** her. She caught my hand and led me into a room on the side named “Shag a Slag.” My d*** was so hard it went straight up her fresh p****, and I fucked it raw. I exploded inside her! She moaned and her eyes went completely cross-eyed, as she couldn’t take any more of my large c*** wrecking her p**** walls.
Immediately afterward, to make sure my muscles didn’t go catabolic and lose any size, I smashed down two high-protein bars to smash my macros. Then, I went back to the main bar and finally had my first alcoholic drink. F*** that, it was the best night of my life at the Lion’s Den.