I was invited to a soirée where I knew several people of wildly divergent political views would be in attendance. I prepared by snorting a gram of blow and drinking 7 Michelob Ultras. Upon arrival in conversation with guests, I simply said “what’s the deal with the Israeli-Palestine conflict?”

Within minutes, people were at each others throats, shouting their maximalist views. One woman had to be restrained.

I left the function triumphant and spent the rest of the evening m*********** in my car.