When I was married, my husband gifted me with a replica of certain anatomy. Several years later, we got divorced. I took the replica with me. And a few years after that,I found it in a box at the back of a drawer. It was not in great shape. Batteries corrode over time.

He was the first man I had been with in my life and I didn’t realize what a prime specimen I had until many years later. I haven’t really used the replica, but it’s more to remind myself that I had that for a while. Long, but not too long. Thick but not painfully slow. And a gentle curve that hit all the right places. Many of the men I’ve dated since then just haven’t compared. So I’ve bought a replica kit and am making a glow in the dark, neon blue replica of my ex’s anatomy.

All of my friends are still friendly with him and it’s a little too personal a detail to tell coworkers. So I’m telling all of you.