I applied for a job a few years back, it was the funniest call for an I which most people WANT, right? That’s one step closer to getting a job. This guy calls me back, he was definitely black, foreign, I don’t know, African? Could have been New Guinney for all I know, he calls me back, interviewing me on the phone and I didn’t even really want the job, he’z asking me questions, I was enthusiastically answering them, half assed. The he goes “Would you be willing to drive to THESE city’s at any time, could be 3am, on the spot? And it could be 350 miles north, in the middle of a winter snowstorm, at 2:00 am. To which I answered honestly “hahahaha! No….” He’s goes “no? You wouldn’t” I’m like no, there’s times, no, I would not want to do that… It’s delivering specimens, medical s***, who knows it could even be oxygen or something. No. F*** no, I wouldn’t do that…

But he lost it “Well, Michael…. Now why do you apply for the job if you don’t want to do it?…”

He’s all shameful at me. I’m like “I don’t know?”

He’s like alright, goodbye to you. Click.

I thought that was funny. Which is fucked. It’s like I was insane at the time or something.