I had g****** with my brother multiple times.
So this all began when I was 14-15, I’m 22 now and I have never told anyone this before and it’s the biggest secret I have and I want to tell anyone.

We were out camping and our parents sent us off for a shower, the campground had a shower area with private showers but there was a line up for most of them so for some reason we decided to go into the same one. Now it started off normally enough inside each little room there was a small area where you could get changed and then a shower curtain separating the shower area. So my brother who is two years older than me went for the shower first, about half way though his shower he pulled the shower curtain open and he had an erection. I didn’t really think much of it I had never seen a fully n*** person before, before I knew it he started playing with my p****, we both got hard and gave each other blow jobs and just continued on like nothing had happened.

Now a few weeks later we were home alone again. I knew this isn’t something that normal people do and I knew it was weird but I didn’t care. I had never gotten a b******* before and it felt f****** awesome, even if it was from my own brother. But we did it again, we sucked each other off, and we both seemed to enjoy it. Now we never really talked about what we did, nothing seemed out of the ordinary when we were with each other but almost every time we were alone, we gave each other blow jobs.

But it didn’t stop there. Things keep progressing, we swallowed each others c**, and I can’t remember exactly how we got into it but he ended up f****** me in my a**. And I liked it, even though I am straight (maybe i’m bisexual?) , for some reason I really like having things in my a**, now we didn’t have a*** s** too many times maybe only a dozen but for some reason neither of us really had an issue with this. It just seemed to feel good and we didn’t care.

Now about a year after this all started he ended up getting a girlfriend and it put an end to our affair. We have never talked to him about it since, and I hope I never do. I will still never tell anyone in person, but I feel like I need someone to know for some strange reason.

Now looking back on all of this I wish it never happened. Unfortunately I think this has played a larger role on my life than I would like to say it has, although at the time I don’t think I ever said no to it, I hoped it had never started, or even escalated as far as it did. I don’t really know what I can do about this but it’s done and I have to move on and I hope even just writing this might help.