I went away with my girlfriend for the first time this weekend, we went to a b&b at the sea in Somerset. It was great and everything went well but oh

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I went away with my girlfriend for the first time this weekend, we went to a b&b at the sea in Somerset.
It was great and everything went well but oh boy is she weird. The first morning we were there she got out of bed and went to the little shower room and toilet and sat and did a poo with the door wide open, then she wiped and came back to bed and let me f*** her from behind.
She didn’t wash her hands either.

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There’s been some close calls in the past but today it finally happened. My cislady girlfriend walked in while Dookie Dunker Dushawn was ballsdeep in my crack while I was spread-eagle. Before I told her Triple D is my physical therapist from Africa and his methods are unusual for westerners but they work and she believed it and was happy that I was supporting marginalized communities.

But today she startled DDD and he lost his jizzle and his meat flopped out shooting jizzleropes in every direction.

I was about to make some excuse when I farted and shot out the remainder of Dushawns load.

She won’t return any of my calls and called me a few slurs.

CORVALLUS signing off for awhile…