I got belligerently drunk and headed over to my neighbor’s pool party intent on destroying it. I began by making inappropriate remarks to all the women there, and also farted loudly. My neighbor approached me to intervene, and I suggested I perform c********** on his wife.
That’s when he got physical, pushing and shoving me out of his backyard and out onto his driveway. A crowd formed behind him, so I got separation from them, pulled down my shorts to expose my bare a**, tore an antenna off one of the cars in the driveway, and proceeded to s******* myself with it. Everybody just stared at me with horrified, disgusted looks on their faces. I’m pretty sure I heard one of them gag.
Victorious, I sauntered back to my place and spent the rest of the afternoon m***********.
