Back in high school I was an up-and-coming DJ, traveling up and down the east coast of the USA with a group of other teenage and young musical artists performing festivals and side gigs like roller rinks, mall courts, and all ages joints.

i was in NYC featured at a DMC DJ showcase at a place down the street from the NY Roxy, where I met a bunch of old school hip hop heads. I was invited to an afterparty at some club, and having my own hotel room i went out with a bunch of these dudes. I was already a regular drinker at the time, but i didnt smoke weed. Well between the weed and Johnnie Walker, i was twisted by 2am, and I found myself with the members of Full Force. They all adopted a very fatherly role to a young me, and told me they’d give me a ride back to my hotel. We shared a blunt and some more drinks in their limo, and soon arrived at my hotel; or what I thought was mine. They escorted me up to what I thought was my room, but Baby Gee had the key for the door and they all huddled and pushed inside with me, and then slammed the door. Without a word, my clothes were being torn off me, and Bowlegged Lou boasted “i’m starving for white meat!” and the next thing i know a foot long glizzy was making its way, fighting, up my p********. I struggled a bit but each of my limbs were being held down and i was being force fed two c**** at once. One of them had put on the House Party soundtrack on a boombox, and over the next hour I was spitroasted, DMDA’d, and left looking like I had an accident at Krispy Kreme. About halfway thru I was fully sober, and had to imagine that every c*** was attached to Lisa Lisa; it was the only way I was able to survive.

– excerpt from “The Corvallus Chronicles” coming this Spring from FSG