What up fam The Prestonian is in the house and feeling great! I went to a damn restrant today where I know this fruitcake waiter works. I says to him “I’ll have the Salisbury Steak Dinner and a chocolate malt”.
He said they don’t have malts I said “alright well then gimme a damn Henry Weinhard” he said they don’t carry that and he don’t think that brand of beer even around anymore.
I could tell this cracker was trying to get on my nerves by acting all smart so I says to him “just bring me a damn chocolate milk and get outta my face”.
This cracker is racist against me because his food ain’t no good and I often send it back and don’t leave no damn tips. Don’t blame my a** that your food is trash n****!
The chocolate milk comes and I drink it down in one swallow and say “keep em coming”. I suffer from lactose intolerent but I sure do love me some chocolate milk.
Finally my main course arrives and it looks ok but let’s see how it tastes. I was eating and not paying no damn attention for awhile then the waiter asks how the food is. I snap out of it and take a bite “hmm this food is revolting!” I shout “I ain’t paying a damn dime for it!” I say and scrunch my face up mad niggerish.
He says something about calling the manager because I’ve eaten over 90% of the food.
I say “lean in here cracker, now if you tryin to start trouble for me I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you meet me behind back and drain my damn balls and I give you this $10 tip and we call it even or if not I tell the manager, Twitter the news and mayor Corvallus Winslow that you called me a cheap n***** and said I ain’t welcome here!”
“Ok ok fine just calm down” he says.
I leave the 10 on the table and go around back and he’s there waiting and when I walk up he gets on his knees and starts sucking my Alabama Black Snake. “Do it like you love that n***** d***!” I shouted. He improves his technique and after a few minutes I blow my damn load all over his mouth face and hair then grab the back of his head and do the fart hammer! I see him get up and go to his car to clean up and I go back inside the restaurant and grab my tenner!
Great day interacting with my local community!
Remember my three rules whiteys:
Drain my balls
Fill my belly
Don’t ask me for s***!