So here I am, 31 years old average guy, who was just going through his business when a memory from the past had me startled again, a memory that I can’t just go open on, cuz it is SO WEIRD (even for me) and if I wasn’t the one going through it, I wouldn’t believe it

When I was young, around 5-th grade or something like that I had this strange experience:
it was at night, I was in my bed, eyes closed ready to fall asleep, when suddenly I felt something like an adrenaline rush giving me an increasing and unending sensation like the one that you feel for a brief moment like you’re falling.. but this time it felt like I was RISING!!!.. it was so intense and my heartbeat and breath started to go so wild that I just opened my eyes only to let the feeling settle down..
I was like “hat the hell..?” and not giving it a second thought I closed my eyes again. After a brief moment of normality that feeling started accumulating again and the more I kept my eyes closed, the stronger and more intense it was becoming.
At some point I couldn’t keep up to it, it felt like my heart would explode, so I opened my eyes again and ofc, it went down again.
Now I was a bit curious about this strange sensation, so I thought to myself “what if I keep my eyes closed..?” and so not knowing if this will occur again I shut my eyes.
Just seconds later I could feel it rising like boiling water in a sealed container, and much like it- with intense pressure on my entire being.
I kept my eyes closed, I struggled to keep em shut at at some point the “speed” that I was reaching was so hard to bare with that I tried (yes, tried) to open my eyes, but I couldn’t.
I thought “well, that’s all folks!” and accepted the idea that I might die ( it felt like that)- like my body was about to explode in all possible directions, starting with my head.
and then.. all of a sudden- nothing.. silence, darkness (or at least the lack of light or sounds).. nothingness or the lack of somethingness (don’t really know how to put the sensation into words). I was calm.. or whatever I was at the time cuz I didn’t felt as I would feel myself usually, I felt myself, but not your normal self-presence.. I felt like I was there and nowhere at the same time.. like I was all and nothing at the same frickin’ time!!
Few second later I opened my eyes in the darkness of my room, like nothing happened.. and that was it.
I thought about it for a while, but while the time went by I just kinda forgot about it..
Life went on, I went to high school, met a girl- I had it going pretty casual like most people.
We used to visit my grandma, cuz she is the sweetest lady and would welcome us and give us a place to crush for the night, so many weekend we would be there, enjoying nice meals (she’s a proffesional cook) and a warm bed to consume our teenage hormone-based desires (I’m leaving the spicy details out, all you need to know is that she was a wild cat).
So there we are one night, in the bed, cuddling and everything (no cat business at the point)
watching a show on TV. Naturally we start to drift off to sleep.. night-night?.. no.. it wasn’t the night as I was used to, but I didn’t knew it yet.
I’m there in bed, eyes shut, her perfume to caress my senses to sleep, when all of a sudden a long forgotten feeling starts creeping on me..
heart pounding, breath increasing, I once again start spinning in the long forgotten sensation of having my body bursting into light, particles or whatever..
.. just naturally I open my eyes of a pure adrenaline rush only to find the poor girl looking at me, asking if I was ok.. “I’m good” or something like that was the answer and once again I tried to go to sleep.. again, like police knocking on your door early in the morning, the same sensation starts creeping in (once it f*cking wants in your life, you have no f*cking choice, but to let it happen), so I did the same, shut my eyes tight, breath running so wild that a radar would give me a ticket.. until something happened, this time a bit different..
.. Random pictures would run through me while I was “flying away (or in way, that’s how much I can tell), voices, feeling of a thousand people riding the same train until I reach that same point where I can’t open my eyes even if I wanted to.. and then the difference occured!
I somehow “dragged” myself out.. of.. MYSELF..! falling down and from being heavy as f*ck I went light as a feather.. everything black and white, no sound.. but what really startlled me was the fact that this time there was a scene- me STANDING BEHIND MY F*CKING SELF, STARING DOWN ON ME.. THERE I WAS.. IN THE BED, THE SHOW KEPT GOING AND MY GIRL LOOKING AT ME
I couldn’t hear the show, but I was like in the middle of a theatre, thousands of people chatting all around, chatting so loud and is such bulks, that I couldn’t make a word out of that massacre of sounds- like I was in a thousand stadiums at once.. utter chaos!
Moments later I just wake up all trembling and the most scary part is- she was standing above me the way I was her in black and white, the show where it was in my black and white sight..
.. she told me that I took my last breath and stopped breathing for a few moments..
that was creepy!!

Time went by and from 15 I turned 31 (quite the time passed with nothing like that ever happening again)

Two weeks ago I couldn’t sleep half way through the night nd around 5 in the morning with my eyes closed I saw this book, it was in colors, holding pictures of people, signs and objects.
I could turn the pages with my mind like I was holding it in my hands.. I had totally forgotten about my previous experiences from my deep past and couldn’t make connection- for all I knew I was stressed from my work.. but yesterday a cold and straightforward thing had me remember all I told you so far.. again the pictures, the sensations, the “travels” the speeds… all of that had came back in full force and for those two weeks I’ve been on this train every other night.. what the hell is this, why is it happening again, why so more intense..
..I can call the first one a child’s immagination, the second one puberty stuff..
..but I’m 31.. 30 frickin’ 1.. what is going on.. and am I the only one?
You will say, have you been on this train and if you have, what can you tell of it?