The Scapegoat

If you’re going to kill yourself, you might as well do something hilarious in the process. First, think of someone you hate. Do a bit of stalking and find a time when you’re sure they’ll be asleep. When this time comes, sneak into his house. Go up next to their bed and stab yourself square in the chest. With your last dying strength place the bloody knife in the hand of your victim, making sure to get their fingerprints on it. Then just lie on the floor and die. The police will never believe his story.