Prior to the coronavirus pandemic I smuggled 3 vials of rock cocaine inside my anus through Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. When I went to the bathroom to

5 years

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Prior to the coronavirus pandemic I smuggled 3 vials of rock cocaine inside my a*** through Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. When I went to the bathroom to retrieve the drugs, feces exploded in a splattering manner all over the wall. It was frankly one of the most pleasant experiences I’ve ever had.

New Confession

I was 13 when it happened. My dad said he had some pictures of my mom and asked if I wanted to see them. I said ok. He brought out an envelope full of Polaroids. My mom was completely n**** in all of them. Most of the she was laying on the bed with her p**** spread open. My dad said that since he let me see, I had to take off my pants and j*** my c***. He took pictures of me with the camera and said he would make mom look at them. Kinda crazy but exciting experience.

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Now I’m no Republican but when I first saw Josh Hawley my first thought was “I bet this man from Texas has the most exquisite and fragrant backbush!”

I’d like to use his bodacious backbush as a scuba mask!

Your friend,

Corvallus Bronson Winslow III