To all newbies, welcome to SimplyConfess! Today I’ll be your tour guide to this absolute cesspool of humanity.
Oh, you thought this was just a site to anonymously let secrets off your chest and go on your merry way? That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.
Here is the place where you can find every sort of ‘ist: racists, sexists, ableists, classists, anti-vaxxer…ists, the works! Be wary of racebaiting posts, they tend to occur in rapid succession and generate heaps of drama within the comment sections!
Oh, you didn’t know? There’s comment sections, meaning your deepest darkest secrets (ha, like anybody genuinely confesses around here) can receive many, many unwanted two-cents. Comment sections on SimplyConfess are the actual pinnacles of cancer, so beware any comment sections exceeding 3 posts.
It wouldn’t be a true SimplyConfess tour if I didn’t mention the pedophiles. Tons upon tons of utterly unapologetic pedophiles. You see, only on SimplyConfess is it a hot trend to depict child molestation and rape in graphic detail, the more graphic the better. It won’t be long before you spot a SimplyConfess pedo in the feed!
SimplyConfess isn’t for everyone, though. Beware if your occupation has anything to do with soliciting taxes, because taxes are the number one enemy of the SimplyConfess community. You are guaranteed to receive relentless reminders that TAXATION IS THEFT. It’s also common for seemingly raunchy stories to abruptly end with such a catchphrase, so be mindful.
We have some very special particular users on SimplyConfess, many of whom are veteran posters of the site. Some of the well-known SimplyConfess celebrities (because that’s something to be proud of) include notorious backsnatch breeder Corvallus, a dirty old man who enjoys airport hookups with men; a recently-infamous ten year old known for spamming with emojis and repeating the word “TROLL” fifty thousand times; and the Gator Lady, a woman who has only ever posted once on this site but has been immortalized for her tale of throwing a live alligator and pulling a shotgun out of her poontang. Keep a close lookout and you might just spot one of them!
Now, with a site like SimplyConfess, one has to ask: how the fuck has this shitshow not been deleted yet? Well, it appears everyone else is asking the same question because there’s been a great deal of fearmongering over this past week about getting IPs exposed and the website wiped from existence. And to that, I say you better enjoy this hellsite while it lasts.
So go on, younglings, and explore the many traumatizing hells you will come to know on the site that is SimplyConfess *** com.
All Comments
OMG I’m here. You fool 👸
And here we witness the notorious ten year old in action, utilizing her signature cringeworthy emoji to remind us all that her age is still on the click.
*clock.
I need to take a stinky poop.
You forgot to mention the spam bots, but besides that this is perfect.
Pooping softly in your eyes holding none back though it is running,stinky, and or ripe beyond painting. Good luck with your devours you turd.
Kys
I’m only 40
– Corvallus, getting off work
“only 40”
I have developed a knack for avoiding the taxation idiot and pedo stuff… I can sense it a few words in and scroll along. If I get it wrong that’s ok too.
Well said/written.
… also, you forgot the psycho that hates and wants to kill/mutilate fat women. He’s pretty special. He seems ok with fat men though interestingly enough.
>”beware any comment sections exceeding 3 posts”
This comment section has exceeded 3 posts lmao
You forgot about Carspotter
Hey, op forgot all the freaky fetish kinky ppl. Pee peeple, scat lovers, panty sniffers, pussy flashers. We’re here in the human cesspool too.
You’re a fetishist, so you prob just fall under the “ists”
Shit. The child is back. She’s certainly a little older than she claims but not much. With a multitude of hang out spots online she chooses to bedevil this one. Damn tiny bitch! Get the fuck outta here! You don’t understand it. You don’t have the maturity or self control for the vaguely civil interactions. You take EVERYTHING personally. You whine and flail and threaten and scream. Your parents must at least dislike you. Nobody would want to be your friend. Go get some fucking therapy kid. Work on yourself now or your future will be miserable. Damn.
Who little old me? 🙇♀️
You can now add the grammar-it’s, the ones who love to correct peoples grammar or spelling LOL
*Grammar-ist
We’re just a reflection of the hyped up world we inhabit.
We also have the “Speak Your Heart” people, they like to confess their love for someone who doesn’t know like them, doesn’t like them or doesn’t know they exist.
Also people who apparently don’t understand the acronym KYS
And people who are jealous of others
Lyric spammers
Let’s not forget the pseudo-intellectuals. Nagerzman is my personal favorite, but the neckbeard who wants himself psychoanalyzed is a true treasure as well.
A TRUE TREASURE TROVE
I AM THE GLOBGLOGABGALAB
Also the narcissists. Case and point NAT
And now the comments are closed. Jesus fuck.
This post has not aged well. #BringBackTheCancer