• 3 months ago
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To all newbies, welcome to SimplyConfess! Today I’ll be your tour guide to this absolute cesspool of humanity.

Oh, you thought this was just a site to anonymously let secrets off your chest and go on your merry way? That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.

Here is the place where you can find every sort of ‘ist: racists, sexists, ableists, classists, anti-vaxxer…ists, the works! Be wary of racebaiting posts, they tend to occur in rapid succession and generate heaps of drama within the comment sections!

Oh, you didn’t know? There’s comment sections, meaning your deepest darkest secrets (ha, like anybody genuinely confesses around here) can receive many, many unwanted two-cents. Comment sections on SimplyConfess are the actual pinnacles of cancer, so beware any comment sections exceeding 3 posts.

It wouldn’t be a true SimplyConfess tour if I didn’t mention the pedophiles. Tons upon tons of utterly unapologetic pedophiles. You see, only on SimplyConfess is it a hot trend to depict child molestation and rape in graphic detail, the more graphic the better. It won’t be long before you spot a SimplyConfess pedo in the feed!

SimplyConfess isn’t for everyone, though. Beware if your occupation has anything to do with soliciting taxes, because taxes are the number one enemy of the SimplyConfess community. You are guaranteed to receive relentless reminders that TAXATION IS THEFT. It’s also common for seemingly raunchy stories to abruptly end with such a catchphrase, so be mindful.

We have some very special particular users on SimplyConfess, many of whom are veteran posters of the site. Some of the well-known SimplyConfess celebrities (because that’s something to be proud of) include notorious backsnatch breeder Corvallus, a dirty old man who enjoys airport hookups with men; a recently-infamous ten year old known for spamming with emojis and repeating the word “TROLL” fifty thousand times; and the Gator Lady, a woman who has only ever posted once on this site but has been immortalized for her tale of throwing a live alligator and pulling a shotgun out of her poontang. Keep a close lookout and you might just spot one of them!

Now, with a site like SimplyConfess, one has to ask: how the fuck has this shitshow not been deleted yet? Well, it appears everyone else is asking the same question because there’s been a great deal of fearmongering over this past week about getting IPs exposed and the website wiped from existence. And to that, I say you better enjoy this hellsite while it lasts.

So go on, younglings, and explore the many traumatizing hells you will come to know on the site that is SimplyConfess *** com.

All Comments

  • OMG I’m here. You fool 👸

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:38 am Reply
    • And here we witness the notorious ten year old in action, utilizing her signature cringeworthy emoji to remind us all that her age is still on the click.

      Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:41 am Reply
      • *clock.

        Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:41 am Reply
    • I need to take a stinky poop.

      Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:55 am Reply
  • You forgot to mention the spam bots, but besides that this is perfect.

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:39 am Reply
  • Pooping softly in your eyes holding none back though it is running,stinky, and or ripe beyond painting. Good luck with your devours you turd.

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:55 am Reply
    • Kys

      Anonymous May 16, 2019 3:56 am Reply
  • I’m only 40

    – Corvallus, getting off work

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 10:06 am Reply
    • “only 40”

      Anonymous May 16, 2019 2:24 pm Reply
  • I have developed a knack for avoiding the taxation idiot and pedo stuff… I can sense it a few words in and scroll along. If I get it wrong that’s ok too.

    Well said/written.

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 10:21 am Reply
  • … also, you forgot the psycho that hates and wants to kill/mutilate fat women. He’s pretty special. He seems ok with fat men though interestingly enough.

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 10:35 am Reply
  • >”beware any comment sections exceeding 3 posts”
    This comment section has exceeded 3 posts lmao

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 11:54 am Reply
  • You forgot about Carspotter

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 12:14 pm Reply
  • Hey, op forgot all the freaky fetish kinky ppl. Pee peeple, scat lovers, panty sniffers, pussy flashers. We’re here in the human cesspool too.

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 12:18 pm Reply
    • You’re a fetishist, so you prob just fall under the “ists”

      Anonymous May 16, 2019 2:20 pm Reply
  • Shit. The child is back. She’s certainly a little older than she claims but not much. With a multitude of hang out spots online she chooses to bedevil this one. Damn tiny bitch! Get the fuck outta here! You don’t understand it. You don’t have the maturity or self control for the vaguely civil interactions. You take EVERYTHING personally. You whine and flail and threaten and scream. Your parents must at least dislike you. Nobody would want to be your friend. Go get some fucking therapy kid. Work on yourself now or your future will be miserable. Damn.

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 7:57 pm Reply
    • Who little old me? 🙇‍♀️

      Anonymous May 16, 2019 10:40 pm Reply
  • You can now add the grammar-it’s, the ones who love to correct peoples grammar or spelling LOL

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 10:39 pm Reply
  • *Grammar-ist

    Anonymous May 16, 2019 10:39 pm Reply
  • We’re just a reflection of the hyped up world we inhabit.

    Anonymous May 17, 2019 12:29 am Reply
  • We also have the “Speak Your Heart” people, they like to confess their love for someone who doesn’t know like them, doesn’t like them or doesn’t know they exist.

    Anonymous May 17, 2019 2:16 am Reply
  • Also people who apparently don’t understand the acronym KYS

    Anonymous May 17, 2019 2:52 am Reply
  • And people who are jealous of others

    Anonymous May 17, 2019 11:20 pm Reply
  • Lyric spammers

    Anonymous May 18, 2019 2:48 am Reply
  • Let’s not forget the pseudo-intellectuals. Nagerzman is my personal favorite, but the neckbeard who wants himself psychoanalyzed is a true treasure as well.

    Anonymous May 18, 2019 2:50 am Reply
    • A TRUE TREASURE TROVE

      Anonymous May 22, 2019 11:51 am Reply
      • I AM THE GLOBGLOGABGALAB

        Anonymous May 22, 2019 2:26 pm Reply
  • Also the narcissists. Case and point NAT

    Anonymous May 18, 2019 5:20 am Reply
  • And now the comments are closed. Jesus fuck.

    Anonymous May 19, 2019 12:15 am Reply
  • This post has not aged well. #BringBackTheCancer

    Anonymous May 22, 2019 3:07 am Reply
  • Damn, this shit was posted only 2 weeks ago and yet so much has changed since its posting. Nat’s arrival, the comments closing, the assembly of the VIPs, and the rise of the “fag” spammers.

    Anonymous June 1, 2019 11:03 pm Reply

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