I fucked my much older owner. He was always coming around my work station to check up on me and chat. He was goofy, but also ‘cool’ with me. He even went out of his way to surprise me on my birthday. He got our crew together and told them to pretend that they we’re all in trouble. Everyone was ‘in trouble’ and had to stay later than usual, myself included. Thats when I noticed him sneaking around the side of the building with the cake in hand. I didn’t really know how to react to so many people doing this for me, but it was very sweet. I looked up to this man for advice and saw him as a friend.

I was genuinely curious as to how old he was because based on just appearance I couldn’t tell if he was in his 20’s or a bit more? One day I tried asking him directly for his age and he gave an absurdly low number. I asked around to other workers and they would ask back, ‘why do you want to know?’, ‘i’m just curious!’ but looking back maybe they had already caught on.

He was in his later 40’s. I was 17 fresh out of high school and kicked out after graduation. He knew I had no where to stay so he would let me open bright and early and also close the store at night that way I could have a safe place to be for a while longer. Sometimes he would even stay a while after closing to hang out with me after work. But this was always after everyone had left and the both of us always sat in his car behind the building.

I remember him squirming in his seat one night while we we’re talking. He said this while half looking at me, the other half looking out the car windows, ‘I don’t want this to sound too weird but, I kinda. sorta.. want to kiss you.’ and it felt like he felt ashamed and didn’t want to look at me but he desperately waited for an answer. I was so surprised that he would even consider me, my mind started racing : But you’re my owner! I am just a younger worker girl to you, no? You want to kiss me? I buried the questions in my head and just said ‘I kinda want to kiss you too’ I always fancied him and just couldn’t believe it. He lifted his head and locked his eyes with mine. ‘Really?’ He said. ‘So can I?’ and he did.

I don’t know if he wanted me to do anything more than that but I had not really been with anyone up to that point so I didn’t really know what to do in those situations. I had only had one bf who broke up with me right after graduation. He and I weren’t together long, and I didn’t really have any sort of dating experience. I’m CLUELESS when it comes to romance.

He left that night knowing that I would kiss him. Then a co-worker heard about my living situation and offered me his apt with his buddies. Alright! No more sleeping in cars, and showering in gyms, sounds great! But it was a total sausage house. Three or four other guys we’re living there just cycling through work and smoking pot while they we’re off. I slept on the sofa in the living area from time to time but spent most of my time at work, or in my car. That co-worker just gave off some weird vibes. He’d take pictures of me in my sleep, and one day tried to ‘tickle fight’ me. I said no but he insisted, and persisted, so I got a bit angry and kept kicking him off of me when he tried to get too close. I was kicking hard too and I mean like full force, all while mean mugging, etc. He was kinda weird, but I didn’t think much of it, I just figured I had to find another place to be.

But this isn’t about that creepy co-worker, it’s about the owner, who drove with me to that co-workers home one night. No one was home, we knew the workers schedule but not the other guys who we’re living in that apt. Someone could have walked in on us but I guess we didn’t really think much about it. I can’t remember how it started.. I just remember suddenly we’re doing it, on that sofa that I would occasionally sleep on. I was sitting on top of his lap, riding him up and down while he had his head leaned back. I was eager to please this more experienced ‘man’. He wasn’t a boy, so I wanted to be sure I was doing it right. It was exciting to be with someone that others tell you not to be with. It was strangely attractive to have him secretly desire me. I hope he really did enjoy me and didn’t feel ashamed because of my age. So we did it that night.

He fired that co-worker and I was cycling through my car for living again. I was becoming more of a professional at this. Again he knew of my living situation so he asked me to stay with him. I was surprised that he suddenly asked but said ‘Sure!’ and when I show up.. He has a girlfriend, who is visibly upset and very pregnant. She is trying to be kind, but she is clearly uncomfortable with me being there and is not happy with him. I tried to keep my head low and pose no threats but she was right from the very beginning. I wasn’t supposed to be there. I was there in for two nights before I decided to leave. This was their home, and frankly I didn’t want to get in their way. For the two nights that I was there I slept right next to her but on the floor and I only came by at night to sleep. Also I didn’t like taking any food or resources if they we’re not purchased by me.
So i’m sleeping on the floor and I feel this warmth behind me. I feel it on my shirt, no on my skin, it’s here under the blankets with me. I feel a pressing on my back and subtly wake up. Someone is behind me, my shorts are down and he’s pressing himself into me. I move my head to see that the gf is not there on her bed and his hand quickly touches my face, holds my mouth. He goes a bit harder now, and deeper, holding me tighter and closer to his body. He’s doing me on his own, he didn’t ask or wake me. His grip strength drops and he’s finished now. He takes himself out, walks out, and didn’t say anything to me which was kind of strange. I left that house the way I did many previous ones, just leave it clean and without prior notice. I left that job as well to follow other things. I just kinda walked out of that life and into a different one. I didn’t try to reach out to him but really I don’t reach out to anyone. I just walked away from it all and moved on. But somedays I can’t help but wonder what happened to him. Would he remember me?

This is very poorly written and long af, but it’s just a fuzzy memory that I wanted to share with others.