Imagine the most beautiful girl you can, who is also academically brilliant, sporty and brave, and who loves you madly, and is wholly loyal forever, who cooks for you. there’s just one catch – she’s a tiny bit mental. when she makes you mashed potatoes, as well as a bit of ricotta, she insists on adding a tiny tiny bit of her poo. just one swirl through the thing. would you indulge her?