Gross. Looks like you gave up and let those times warp you. You said no to the experiences but I guess you stopped fighting the trauma. The person you used to be deserved better than to become what you are.
It’s not a weird reaction. Wanting to stage a reenactment of the trauma or perhaps go through pain over and over again is common but extremely unhealthy. It’s like having ice cream with a cavity. It will numb the pain but exacerbate the trauma.
I’ve known a lot of people who went through what OP went through.
I don’t doubt that OP fought as hard as possible to make it stop. But OP needs to confront the trauma and come to terms with the fact that they’re now abusing themselves by accepting such a disturbed state of mind.
I’m not trying to shame OP for what happened to them. That’s insane. But free speech is real and I honestly do think it’s gross that OP just took their unhealthy and warped thoughts and internalized them to a point of nonchalant acceptance. It’s not okay to look back on ones own memories of being terrified and to actually crave it. It’s not healthy and certainly isn’t going to help OP rebuild their identity after experiencing such tragedy. It’s a gross direction to go. Often times craving that kind of thing Is th email first stage of deeper moral weakening and I don’t want OP to end up encouraging anyone to hurt another child or to actually become an abuser themselves.
I was takes by my aunt when I was 11. I sometimes wish I was raped by an older woman in the years following that. I wanted it. Today I sometimes still want a woman to take advantage of me… Even though I’m a fairly fit and strong man. I think the feelings you have are perfectly normal. I’ve found it to be very healthy and theraputic to find a partner willing to have a rape role play with me. It’s been very healing and fulfilling.
1) It’s not therapeutic to reenact your trauma. It doesn’t help you even though it feels good. I know it’s hard because you’re a guy and we balk at the idea that horny young guys can be raped by willing older women, but you were, and you really should get some help from a therapist. Or else you will always be dominated and manipulated by this childhood trauma, and nobody deserves that.
2) I think it’s really important for guys like you to speak out about what happened to you. I’m not saying “become an activist” or “tell everyone in your life about this,” but I’m glad you are willing to talk about it even anonymously. Men who were abused need to know that it happens to other men. And men who were NOT abused need to hear from men like you who were abused, because most men see that kind of abuse through the lens of sexual fantasy and not as the true abuse it is.
This is unfortunately a common phenomenon for victims of sexual violence. Scientists don’t understand why yet, but a lot of people who were abused as children seek out and reenact that sexual abuse later in life. It’s as if their internal hardwiring is scrambled by the abuse.
So you are not alone. Please seek out help from a therapist so you can heal and live a fuller, happier life. You deserve that.
My wife dated alot when In high school. She also had sex alot on those dates. I think she had a reputation for being easy, which she was because she likes having sex. She was very cute and attracted guys which she liked of course. Having sex was just part of dating she thought. She just thought it was something she should do for a guy because they were very turned on by her. It was impossible for her to resist. But now looking back she realizes that she was raped numerous times. Guys knew she was easy and just expected that she wanted it no matter what and pushed her into it. I know some guys she did it with and omg i cant believe she fucked those guys. She had to have been forced.
Rape is my wife’s oldest and strongest fantasy. When she really got raped at 17 she hated it and moved but didn’t report it. When we got together she always wanted me to be dominate and to roleplay rape with her. Watching movies like THE ACCUSED changed her fantasy from one attacker multiple attackers and now wants it live streamed. As my wife, watching and fantasizing about gangrape is the only way she gets off. Our whole marriage she has hinted and told me that she’d LOVE it if I set her up to be gangraped. Sorry perverts, I can’t and won’t do that.
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Gross. Looks like you gave up and let those times warp you. You said no to the experiences but I guess you stopped fighting the trauma. The person you used to be deserved better than to become what you are.
I am about the last person in the world to lecture anyone about “shaming” other people, but you’re not helping with your weird reaction. Fuck off.
It’s not a weird reaction. Wanting to stage a reenactment of the trauma or perhaps go through pain over and over again is common but extremely unhealthy. It’s like having ice cream with a cavity. It will numb the pain but exacerbate the trauma.
I’ve known a lot of people who went through what OP went through.
I don’t doubt that OP fought as hard as possible to make it stop. But OP needs to confront the trauma and come to terms with the fact that they’re now abusing themselves by accepting such a disturbed state of mind.
I’m not trying to shame OP for what happened to them. That’s insane. But free speech is real and I honestly do think it’s gross that OP just took their unhealthy and warped thoughts and internalized them to a point of nonchalant acceptance. It’s not okay to look back on ones own memories of being terrified and to actually crave it. It’s not healthy and certainly isn’t going to help OP rebuild their identity after experiencing such tragedy. It’s a gross direction to go. Often times craving that kind of thing Is th email first stage of deeper moral weakening and I don’t want OP to end up encouraging anyone to hurt another child or to actually become an abuser themselves.
Excellent response!!
I was takes by my aunt when I was 11. I sometimes wish I was raped by an older woman in the years following that. I wanted it. Today I sometimes still want a woman to take advantage of me… Even though I’m a fairly fit and strong man. I think the feelings you have are perfectly normal. I’ve found it to be very healthy and theraputic to find a partner willing to have a rape role play with me. It’s been very healing and fulfilling.
*takes is raped.
1) It’s not therapeutic to reenact your trauma. It doesn’t help you even though it feels good. I know it’s hard because you’re a guy and we balk at the idea that horny young guys can be raped by willing older women, but you were, and you really should get some help from a therapist. Or else you will always be dominated and manipulated by this childhood trauma, and nobody deserves that.
2) I think it’s really important for guys like you to speak out about what happened to you. I’m not saying “become an activist” or “tell everyone in your life about this,” but I’m glad you are willing to talk about it even anonymously. Men who were abused need to know that it happens to other men. And men who were NOT abused need to hear from men like you who were abused, because most men see that kind of abuse through the lens of sexual fantasy and not as the true abuse it is.
This is unfortunately a common phenomenon for victims of sexual violence. Scientists don’t understand why yet, but a lot of people who were abused as children seek out and reenact that sexual abuse later in life. It’s as if their internal hardwiring is scrambled by the abuse.
So you are not alone. Please seek out help from a therapist so you can heal and live a fuller, happier life. You deserve that.
My wife dated alot when In high school. She also had sex alot on those dates. I think she had a reputation for being easy, which she was because she likes having sex. She was very cute and attracted guys which she liked of course. Having sex was just part of dating she thought. She just thought it was something she should do for a guy because they were very turned on by her. It was impossible for her to resist. But now looking back she realizes that she was raped numerous times. Guys knew she was easy and just expected that she wanted it no matter what and pushed her into it. I know some guys she did it with and omg i cant believe she fucked those guys. She had to have been forced.
Rape is my wife’s oldest and strongest fantasy. When she really got raped at 17 she hated it and moved but didn’t report it. When we got together she always wanted me to be dominate and to roleplay rape with her. Watching movies like THE ACCUSED changed her fantasy from one attacker multiple attackers and now wants it live streamed. As my wife, watching and fantasizing about gangrape is the only way she gets off. Our whole marriage she has hinted and told me that she’d LOVE it if I set her up to be gangraped. Sorry perverts, I can’t and won’t do that.