Okay, first, this story contains “the gay”, so if you’re a homophobe, please stop reading now and feel free to leave your batshit crazy philosophy in the comments.
When I was a teenager, I had a summer babysitting job, watching these two boys, aged nine and eleven. It was a cushy gig; show up on my bicycle at about nine a.m., Throw the kids Kraft Mac n cheese and frozen pizza at random intervals, make sure they got some sleep, didn’t kill each other, and didn’t get bored enough to require a cleaning bill. Collect my dough and leave when their parents got home.
One day, I was watching tv and the kids were in their playroom when I noticed they were suspiciously quiet. I get up and check, and the 9yo is giving the 11yo a b******! Apparently, they’d gotten into their dad’s p***, because the older boy was spouting obscenity that sounded like a pornstar reading from a script; and equally obvious, this was not their first time, because the 9yo had skill. After the 11yo had an o*****, dry of course, I snuck down the hallway and back to my show.