This is long, I couldn’t help it. But I had to tell the world. Can at least one female read this to give advice please. I am the luckiest man alive! For now. I know many people probably won’t believe me, but its true. I am in a ‘relationship’ right now that’s hard to explain. It all started a couple of years ago when I started falling in love, with all of them. I am a man, S (30), and have several really close friends that I have hung out with as a group now for years. We are all close, for our own reasons, and have met each other at various times and in various places. But there are eight of us now all together, and I am the only male. Well they are all beautiful, and are the most amazing women in the world, so its only natural that I would like them. Well, they are B (25), H (26), A (20), D (22), R (20), Em (19), El (27), and my oldest and first friend is B, and the most recent is D, who I met through El while we were roommates. But the point is, they were all always super nice to me, and we liked hanging out together. Mostly as a group when our jobs allow, and we all became best friends, sharing everything together, doing everything together. I have even been (accidentally) made out with before (when one or more of them are drunk). I started to notice a few years back, that I would get stares from people while we were out together, and to be honest, it made me feel like the effing man. I mean, it is common to see them in a bra or underwear on occasion. But as a man, that does things to me. (Duh) Well to make a longer story shorter, I started to develop feelings for them, each one, each one being special in her own way. Things started to get complicated with our friendship, and I was forced to confess. In my defense, neither of them has had a boyfriend in more than a year, probably for the same reason I haven’t had a girlfriend in over three, because she meets my friends and never calls me back. But, the point is, I ended up writing a letter to each one of them confessing everything, and how it wasn’t fair to either of them for me to feel that way, and that they were all special, and I was wrong for putting them, and myself into that position. I told them I was going to break away from the group, and do my own thing from then on so I could break free of my childish infatuation, and so they could not have to feel guilty, or awkward. Well B, wouldn’t allow that, and told me that it was stupid for me to feel like I would have to stop being friends with her, or them over something like that. But I persisted, and cut myself off. Almost two weeks went by, and I stopped replying to texts, and cried a lot, and got depressed. I was only responding to B and H at this point, my oldest friends, and was getting some really heart breaking messages on facebook and instagram, and my phone from the others, sometimes they would come into my job too, but I would hide. I was only trying to do the best thing for everybody. Well, I was (they don’t know this) in the middle of a private moment one afternoon after work when I got a knock on my door, it was B. She took my breath away completely. I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t seen her in a while, or if it was because she’s just gorgeous, but she was so beautiful I think I stopped breathing for a second, because I got dizzy. But she looked at me with the saddest face I have ever seen, and reached out that hand that I used to hold all the time when she was unhappy to give her comfort, and told me that she wanted one more day with her best friend before being cast into exile. I tried not to laugh because I knew she was serious, I agreed to go, and she waited on the couch while I showered and got ready. She drove, and I asked where we were going, she wouldn’t tell me, ended up being Burger King, but it was the most special thing in the world, because it’s where she and I used to go together when we were younger and were ditching the families. But the whole car ride was soppy, I told her how sorry I was, and that I loved her, and bla bla bla, lots of tears. But she made me stop crying, and called me a loser, and made me laugh like she used to. I was in complete bliss, and was falling for her all over again. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, and all of a sudden missed everybody else too, like really bad. Anyway, getting to the point, when we went into BK I got the most pleasant surprise of my life. They were all their waiting for me. I couldn’t believe my eyes, they were all dolled up, and I literally started drooling because my mouth was gaping for like 5 minutes. H and Em met me at the door and took me over to the tables, I thought I was going to pass out, like I couldn’t believe all this was real. They were so beautiful I almost cried again. Even the staff were in shock, and everybody was smiling really big and giggling like they always do, they each gave me a hug, and a kiss on the cheek, (which is normal for us), and B ordered my usual for me. I almost couldn’t eat. I had so many questions for everybody, and didn’t know where to start. So for most of the meal, it was just small talk, and I didn’t say much, just got caught up. Before we all left, (and went to the Waterfront which I didn’t know about), starting with R, they all gave the letters I had written back to me. I started to panic, and got embarrassed, but tried not to show it. I stood up, and started to ask why, when they told me to turn them over. I did, and on the other side of each one, was written the word YES. I didn’t understand at first, it actually took me the rest of the night to get it, but what had happened is that they had been talking to each other still after I did what I did, and tried to leave them, and had decided that they still wanted me to be their friend. I still don’t know exactly how it all happened or who made the decision first, but they had decided that we would do anything for each other, just like we always had. We had been there through death, through losing jobs, losing boyfriends, and girlfriends (in my case) through a lot. R even goes to therapy, and knows I would have done anything to take that horrible thing that happened away from her, we all would. But later on that night, in my apartment, after ice cream, we actually started to talk, and it was like old times again we were all cuddled up together on the couch and floor in various positions, just talking. But in the end I asked what was going on, and why they were being so nice to me and not mad at me. After looking at each other, like they didn’t know who was supposed to answer my question, A spoke up, and said that I was too good of a friend to lose to something crazy like that, and that I should’ve said something about it sooner, before I let it get to me like that, because that’s what friends do. I agreed and was about to point out that that is exactly the problem, but before I could, H started talking, and then everybody kind of chimed in at once, saying that it was normal for me to feel that way because I am a guy, and that that was no excuse to stop being friends. I guess B sensed that I was starting to get nervous and upset, because she grabbed my arm and put her head on my shoulder (we were still on the floor). That’s when I mentioned my letters, and told them that I couldn’t be satisfied like a man needs to be satisfied because I felt torn between them, and that I would feel like I was betraying the others by choosing one over the other. But H told me that was ridiculous, and that if I had asked her, she would’ve said yes, and that nobody else would’ve taken offense to it. I looked around for a second, waiting for some strange look and listening for other comments, but all I got was nods. Then, almost in unison, each one spoke up saying, “Same.”, “Me too.”, “Same here.”, or some other variation. I didn’t know what to think. If anything, this had made things 1000x worse. Now I felt obligated to choose, but couldn’t, I wouldn’t. Before I could get up, (I was gonna go to the bathroom and hide for while), El and R stood up from off the couch, and immediately kneeled back down onto the floor in front of me. El told me that she understood how I feel, and that it would be a lot to ask of anyone to make a decision like that. That’s when B told me that she would always be there for me, just like I had always been there for her. They all nodded again, and then I felt a kiss on my neck. It took me by surprise, and I almost panicked. It was the first time I had been kissed s******* in almost two years (apart from being drunk kissed by many of them). But I got chill bumps all over my body, and froze. I felt another one on the same side, and felt a hand on my chest (my eyes were closed), and that is where the best night of my life began, and I became the luckiest man alive. They pretty much forced me out of my clothes (like they had too, lol) and though it didn’t take me long the first time, (and some of them too), we had s** until the early morning hours, and I called out of work the next day from lack of sleep (a few of them did too). Like I said, maybe nobody will believe me, but it happened, just the night before last. Now though, I don’t know exactly what we are, or I am, or anything. I don’t know if we are all a thing now, or if its just temporary, or was a one time thing. But that’s what frightens me. I don’t want this to end. I want us to be this way forever. I tried to make them all happy, and wore my hands, arms and tongue out to the max to make sure they all felt as good as possible, and I probably won’t be able to sleep on my bed again for a few days, because it got soaked. lol. I love my couch now. And they all know how I feel, they all know that I love them more than anything in the world, and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But now I’m afraid of losing them, any of them. If it was bad before, it’s even worse now. Now I’m absolutely crazy about them. They all act the same way now though, and I can kiss them on the lips (at least B, H, and Em since I kissed them before they left that morning), and yesterday I made out with H for a minute before she left for work (she initiated). But am I under any restrictions? Are we all a thing? Can I just do what I want with any of them? I just don’t know a lot of things because we haven’t talked about it like that? What questions should I ask them to be sure? I know it’s long but I just wanted to include as much detail as possible, and explain things as well as I could to show just how things are, and why I have the concerns that I have. Thanks.
