This is probably going to be the craziest love story you have ever heard. It all started off in 4th grade for me. I met J and decided that I had a crush on him. All my friends had crushes and not only did I want one- but i actually did have one. Back then, things were a lot more fun. Then 5th grade rolled around and guess what? My friend K reallyyyy liked him. In fact, she confessed to him. And the whole time he kept looking over at me. Of course, little me didnt know why. He ended up stalling his answer to my friend somehow. Besides the fact that I supported my friend and tried to convince myself I didn’t like J, 5th grade was one of the best years of my life. Anyways, a lot of drama happened to me in 6th grade but let’s focus on J. He told K that maybe in 8th grade they could date and she was estatic. Then 7th grade rolled around. Now I don’t remeber much as I was on strong meds then. It really messed with my memory. K found out that J didn’t like her. She kind of drifted off but somehow K and I got really close. J and I never really dated- but we were hella close to doing so. At first it was something like heavy flirting. Then J started showing off and finding every possible way to stay in contact with me. Then he started to… Kind of be… Controlling. He always confronted the group about these girls he had a crush on. But he interrogated me, asking how I felt about it. I tried to stay calm and not act completely heartbroken. We played tag and pokes turned into shoves. I tried to tell only certain people about the terrible meds I was taking and I distinctly Remeber him screaming at me for not including him. I kind of remeber him bullying me. Trying to completely control me. Almost following me home. And somehow I still liked him so much. I ended up blocking him (and the rest of my bitchy friends) on the phone over the Summer. I remeber him kinda threating me over a FaceTime and I decided that it had to be over. It was so hard not to text him… But I did it. And when I came back to school at first he didn’t leave me alone. He had so many questions and I pretended that I “lost” my phone and when the questions died down I “found” it. The questions ended. But it wasn’t the end. I stopped eating with my friends. I stopped talking to them altogether. They were terrible to me. And they noticed this. Then it seemed that all of a sudden J was completely back in my life again. He stalked me for months. He tried to interrogate me and maybe even hurt me. He would say horrible things about me online and spread bad rumors about me at school. Wherever I was, he was there. Sometimes in the background, sometimes screaming at me. He tried to follow me home multiple times and I stayed at K’s apartment a lot more often afterschool than I used to. I had to sneak through a forest or hide in a parking lot so he couldn’t find me. I had nightmares every night that he’d threaten me with a gun. I was extremely anxious. I couldn’t be within a foot of him or else I’d get a full blown anxiety attack. Someone finally got him to stop. Barely. And then I moved. I’ve just started my highschool year in this new amazing place and I have a lot wrong with me- including trauma from this experience. I still get flashbacks and I have fuzzy memories. Believe it or not guys, this is super vague. I can’t talk to a guy without shaking now. I have a lot more stuff going on with me from this. But let’s not get into the details. Thanks for reading.
