I hate that I felt I had to come here. That I can’t talk to my own friends. I am what I see called a “rice queen.” A white man attracted only to Asian men. For more than 20 years I have tried to connect to Asian trans women to find a partner. It never works. I’m told I’m too old or too fat or too slow. I don’t know what that last one is about, but I really don’t care now. I look at buff Asian men online and think I have no chance. What kills me is I know Asian men are shunned in online dating, so there should be a market for me. But online dating is horrid and cruel and savage, so I don’t do it. Personal dating has been cruel enough.