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You make me want to move to Africa or somewhere where there’s people of the same kind. I’d love to go and take as many kids as possible and help them, give them clothes and all of that and then make them s*** my f****** d*** because God doesn’t exist, life is meaningless, and literally nothing, NOTHING in THIS F****** LIFE MATTERS. No matter what you do, when you die, you go out like a flame. There is no afterlife, there is no GOD. If there was why would he have created some fucked up species that literally destroys everything, creates chaos from nothing, and burns their own world down?? We are nothing but a plague. An infestation. The luck we had to have to get enough atoms in a cellular level to retain information and to create this word “Conscious” and think we have control over anything because we give them names and create these scales like we matter. We don’t. You don’t matter. There is emptiness, complete and utter absence of life when we die. Complete dark absence. Nothing. And you can’t imagine dying and not being able to live some other place so mortals created this massive scam to control people and make them less monster ours and animalistic of our very true nature. Yeah, it makes perfect sense to save the country by detonating a bomb that can destroy half the planet but f*** that guy for being a homo or black or anything different than the pieces of s*** minds that set the rules way back in f*** your cousin and get away it law days. When they were practically f****** their little sisters and if they told they called them a witch and they were murdered. It’s insane though, right? That if we look in history books they don’t tell you about the slaughters.. the murders.. the r****.. the slaves.. the s*** they did to make this world so fucked up that even if there was a God he/she/they/it wouldn’t f****** want anything to do with us just like we don’t want anything to do with the insignificant ants we pass on the sidewalk without helping them eat and live in peace.

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Many mornings i sit on my front porch with coffee and a cigarette as a relaxing way to watch the world wake up. This morning i was doing so with the residual taste of the male runner i orally please (usually weekly but sometimes more frequently) still clinging in my throat. An older couple was on ther morning walk today, i see them occasionally. She was the usual casual wave and good morning but he did not even glance my direction. She called him out on it and told him to at least say good morning, and they were on their way again. As they walked away he turned and looked back at me with an uncertain ezpression on hia face I hope she did not give him grief later, because i know why he was acting awkwardly. About six weeks ago he made his first visit to my back yard shed to take his own pleasure in my mouth. It was actually emotional for him because he had not gotten any relief in a very long time. I told him he was welcome any time. But like many older married men he was truly suffering the guilt and shame of taking his pleasure in a man’s mouth and for being unfaithful to his wife. But naturally after getting the incredible pleasure i gave him as i reverently worshipped his hard hungry male flesh…he told me during and after that he had no idea such pleasure existed…his guilt and remorse and shame got to him and after a couole of weeks i assumed he would never return. But sure enough, i eventually saw him on a morning solo walk and he came up to me unable to even speak or ask, and i simply had him follow me to my back yard shed and without speaking i gave him what he needed again. And of course afterwards despite his enjoyment in the moment, he was in tears again and said he could never do this again. But a week later, he was back for more. Then again a few days after that This is where we are at as i saw him on his walk with his wife this morning. I have sincere empathy for his inner crisis, and he kmows if he comes back for more he will get it time and again. I know it sounds arrogant but i know eventually he will come back again and again. Not because i am conceited but because i simply know men and the type of man that seeks what i give them on my knees. He will come back because they all do eventually this is simply how some men get what they need and i enjoy giving it to them for a host of reasons…..from the diary of a closet neighborhood cocksucker