The keys to a tremendous s***:
-you have to s*** so bad you can’t wait to get to toilet
-the bowels start to move before you are properly seated on the commode
-loud crackle of feces ejecting through the sphincter
-heavy volume (not noise, just sheer amount) of s***, preferably in multiple logs
-filthy stench that hits in a delayed manner (ideally heavily sulfuric with hints of rare beef and garlic)
-messy yet manageable wiping, good soiled toilet paper yet not too wet
-oily steaks in toilet water
-spontaneous m***********
-e**********
-kissing of toilet bowl
-photography
-flushing
-memories