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(LONG) We talk about his confession each time we are alone but I just wanna be able to talk about it now. I’m so impatient. It’s just difficult. No one knows and no one can know so finding alone time is important.

He has confirmed how he feels, he has elaborated on why and how long he’s felt that way but I just need 6-7 hours of alone time so I can jump his bones and talk to him about the fact that he loves me even if I think I might not love him back.

Which doesn’t mean I don’t want him. I’m not sure what I want. I know he would be good for me, but there are so many factors that worry me.

Our age gap for example. Totally legal but I’m older and it makes me feel weird

The amount of mutual friends we have?? All of which have asked me in the past if we had ever fucked and I always told them ‘never we’re just good friends’

The fact that he is so different from the type of guy I normally want

F****** hell it’s everything. It’s the age, the friends, I’m worried.

F***.

Why does he have to love me?? Why couldn’t he just love me in a friendship way

Am I awful for not loving him back?? I like him but I can’t string the words together

I think I’m in love with you

The seven words that have changed my whole life.

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One time my art therapist was holding her pee during dnd, this was shortly after she learned that I was into pee desperation, so january 2026. I was playing rain music. She was squirming like mad less than an hour in. At one point she shifted in her seat and opened her mouth and eyes wide in surprise, a real uh oh face. Break time came and she chose not to pee. So at about 70 or 80 minutes in, she gets up to go pee. Mind you she normally held it for 130 minutes. Well the dm tells her to update her character sheet before she goes and she says “OK, but I have to pee like no other.” I said “Damn…” and then “Why are you still here then.” And she just kinda went blank and said “What?” And I was like “Nevermind.” She came back from the bathroom reeking like piss and clearly going commando cause she had a sudden cameltoe that wasnt there before. Someone mentioned that it smelled like a litter box and i said “You smell piss? Oh yeah, I smell it too!” Pretty sure she had to throw out her p****** cause they were soaked in piss. She did that because she has a condition that makes it hard for her to have s** and i told her if she couldn’t f*** she’d have to indulge my o******* kink for pee desperation and wetting. She proceeded to hold it during dnd every week after that for 10 months, minus like 6 weeks. I remember many times she was clearly desperate to pee. A couple of times she jumped in her seat and sharply inhaled. Many times she would cross and uncross her legs and kick her feet repeatedly before tightly crossing her legs at the knee. One time after squirming she had a wet spot on her b*** and she leaned over the counter to let me see. Before any of this, we were playing dnd in like 2024 or 2025 and she was like “Hold on, I need to pee.” And I said ” Not allowed” and she jokingly said “Wanna come?” to me, in front of another client.