To the person that wants to kill themselves, people can be intuitive and when they love you, they will feel what you are feeling and experience the same thing. If you are slowly collapsing, there is probably someone collapsing with you. If you told them how you felt, they would be glad there is someone who feels the same, and they will be able to help you which will help them feel less depressed too. No one can force you to reach out, you have to be the one to be brave and do it. You already managed to put it on a confession site, which means you have the ability to conquer the fear and express how you are feeling. The only thing thats stopping you is you believing you cant, but you already know you can. Find a friend, ask them to talk in private and sincerely express what you are feeling. You can do it. I hope this helps.