Why did you do everything you did?

I know there is an explanation, there must be an explanation.
I have my theories, but I want to hear from you. And I don’t want to hear “I don’t know” you are very smart and a perfectionist, I know you had some kind of logic guiding you to keep doing what you were doing. I know that in your mind, at that moment, the benefits (him) outweighed the cons (losing me). Even when I’m drunk I can understand why I did everything I did. You were sober, you rested, your mind was 100% functional, you had days to regret it, but you only regretted it (conveniently) when he started to show you his true mask… When you started to realize that you wouldn’t have him nor me.. So think about it, relive those days in your mind and give me the real true explanation.

Don’t be afraid to hurt me, nothing you do can hurt me the same way.