Sounds like you need to write it off as a mistake on your part for treating someone important to you so poorly, and learn from it while you move on and forget it.

Sometimes we don’t get a second chance. You should always think ahead. Recognize that you are burning bridges permanently when you’re doing it.

That’s difficult when you’re a woman, I know. Crazy, stupid, no f****** clue what you want at any time, wishy washy, but you need to think while you act. It’s all fun and games while you are destroying it until the damage can’t be repaired for anything and you do want it back.