I am trying to keep my libido from dying and getting worse.

I dunno what is wrong with me. So many things happened, when I donated blood recently, was like 5 weeks, none of my issues have recovered. It’s like the same big issue I am having, manifesting itself symptomatically throughout my day to day living.

It’s like, I literally cannot get aroused in the same way that I did before.

And just like I can’t get aroused, it’s like I can’t even experience emotions as intense as I did before.

And similar to other things, my energy levels dropped so f****** bad.

The thing is, I go to my doctor, appointment too short I can’t f****** explain all my issues to the doctor… so they send me to go to lab work, but then I have to give blood again to complete the lab tests…

But that is the s*** that got me in the situation I am in in the first place, and I just do not want this to be permanent.

I’ve had other things in the recent past, like few years, I do something kind of out of the ordinary and/or stupid, and I take like a big hit to my health and well-being.

One time I took these B vitamins, it felt like it depleted something and I’ve felt more sensitive in the sun ever since, never gotten better.

Similar thing with my hair, it was good, took this rando a** supplement, my hair has been fucked up ever since, like it’s not as full and rich anymore, it’s like wimpy and s***.

Since I have lost these things and haven’t gotten them back, I assume they won’t be coming back, unless maybe I can correct whatever underlying issues I might have, but even then I am not sure if it will get better to the same level again or not or if it will even be comparable…

So basically, I am waiting. Maybe there will come a time when I am comfortable to give up some blood for lab tests and I can maybe try that s*** then.

Basically, I was the f****** party bus of s** man. I could get to a heightened state of arousal, and stay there, precum would just be flowing out of my d*** like f****** natural spring water, just like continuously dribbling now. But now, I cannot get to that same point of arousal it’s like my body just can’t handle it I dunno what it is.

But it’s like the same kind of “dead end” feeling with other things too. I try to think about something, I get emotional but there is this like “dead end” feeling where I just can’t really continue with it anymore, whereas before I could just keep going and going…

Physically, I try to get up and do these but I just reach this like “dead end” point…

I am maybe anemic but I have no idea, I have to get that s*** tested but ya…

Maybe I can talk the doctors into just checking one thing so I don’t have to give up too much blood, but I think they act like I am making a big deal and everything is fine but I feel like you know what, f*** these f****** people. Maybe they mean well and s***, but absolutely, f*** them.

I cannot let myself get worse, I am tired of getting worse. The main issue is that it’s just hard as f*** to get a hold of the doctor and try to solve anything. The nurses and staff are literally useless.

I am so f****** g******* upset. I even bought C*** rings, I ordered c*** rings, and I tried it on today, and it was so f****** sad man. It’s just so f****** sad, to HAVE to use a c*** ring to get off… it’s like I’m 35 man, like a few weeks ago I was f****** killing it man, I was f****** killlllllllling it I was having a f****** great time man… I never realized like the potential I had for fun and excitement, but completely everything has gone to s*** since I donated blood. F*** f*** f***. It hasn’t gotten better and it’s the most concerning thing I’ve ever been through for me, mostly because nothing has gotten better.

Wish me luck, I am not sure what I am going to have to do to get well.. in honesty, truthfully, my fear is that I am afraid that I am going to have to accept and deal with maybe I have a lifetime level illness and/or problem and somehow, I will just have to deal with and accept and “be ok” or try to be, with my s***** a** s***** system basically and my s***** system in general that can’t seem to keep energy for s***.

I don’t think I am wrong, but I guess I could be and that would be great if I was… so then I can live and be happy again…