I don't understand if I love my bf, who I've been dating for a long time. We spent one month being together and then half of year being separated by great

4 years

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I don’t understand if I love my bf, who I’ve been dating for a long time. We spent one month being together and then half of year being separated by great distance.
Now he’s returning back and I don’t know, if I still like him, love him or I do not.

I’ve made many new friends during the time we were split and interested in some of them as in a potential lovers. I fear that we I lied to him when told him many many times that I loved him.

New Confession

Oh wow I can’t wait. My bullies daughter is having a sleepover and she requested him to bring me and humiliate me in front of her and her friends. She likes how he makes me n***** myself to get hard and when he forces me to masterbate myself to a full e********** and they want to laugh at seeing a man being s******* humiliated in front of them so they can enjoy watching me looking scared doing those things and agree I like being played with, they don’t know the truth is hell yeah I love being degraded in front of young girls.

Related Confessions

For years my sister and I would hold our brother down and hurt his balls so much that he would cry for mom to come save him but she not once made us stop. My sister would force his underwear out of the way while I would knee him and she would hit him. It was fun and it REALLY turned me on but as an adult I have a kink now about getting my v**** and c*** smashed the same way. I really want my brother to do it to me as revenge since we’re grown up but I don’t know what it would take. I’ve let him see me in my p****** quite a lot and even tried taunting him but he doesn’t seem interested in it. I don’t know what it takes to get guys interested in that.