I’m in a long distance relationship, I have been since I was 15 (year 9) it was during October of. 2020 and we met and had a great connection, we met up I met their family and they met mine. We have been dating for almost 2 years now. Their a year older than I am and they graduate this year. Their goal is to move to my city when he graduates. I want to go to college and I take great pride in my grades and education; I want to go to college and get a phd or a masters. My partner wants to get married, be with me the rest of our lives. We’re the only people we’ve been with and couldn’t imagine ourselves without eachother. This was for almost 8 months after I realized that I don’t know if I could do this. I’m scared. He loves me so much that I feel like something bad will happen. We’ve done and shared so much that I’m terrified. I want to be with someone else I want to explore I didn’t think I’d be in a long term relationship since I was 15. I love them, but they love me more. I was always scared of talking about the future together, even when we first started dating. What do I do, I know I have to, but still everytime that they go out and doesn’t tell me if they hung out a girl I’m still scared that they will leave. I want them to break up with me, I don’t want to do this. I can’t say the words out loud I want them to hate me. I want them to say “I think we have different things in life”. Why is this so hard. I wish I would’ve done this when I first felt it. I hate being left alone with my thoughts, the fear about them moving here after they graduate and while I’m still in school. I’m scared. I don’t want to do this, I wish they would I really do. Their sister wants me to come to her wedding with him. I don’t know if I can. Their sister are high school sweethearts, so I think that they think that the first love is the only love. But I don’t, I know that there is more, that there can be more. They’ve done so much for me. They’ve paid for most of the plane tickets, dinner bills, presents, and sharing an account. I am selfish. They stayed with me through the worst times, and were they should’ve left. I can’t imagine what would happen after. It hurts. They love me so much that I can’t reciprocate that amount of love back. I still love them. I probably always will. But I can’t be in love with them for as long as they want. Please help me, how can I do this.