I think I’m afraid of showing off stuff to others. Now, it’s not like I never ever show off stuff to others. But almost all of the time it’s not me in the center focus because, I’m coming to the realization. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of doing something I’m so proud of and so happy about and then having someone crush my dreams. So I stay in the back. Unnoticed. Unnecessary. Even though, I know what I can do and what I have done are good, I’m still terrified. So many times my work has been put down and hated upon. That I’m not even sure if it’s okay to share anything anymore. Everything that I put effort into, is hidden from others. In the far back of my closet until they leave. Im afraid of seeming to prideful of something. Even when I feel like people would be supportive and kind of all my hard work, I just can’t bring myself to share my work. And it’s just gotten worse. I’m horrified to share projects. I feel like everyone is judging me and picking out all the small little mess ups I’m making. Like everyone is against me. My friends have always been super supportive, and yet every time they ask about seeing my work, my legs start shaking my voice goes quiet and my arms feel numb. And it’s awful. I hate it. When I was young I never would have guessed that I would be here. Being terrified just to share my work. It’s so stupid. I know. Just theirs this voice in my head that tells me that the world is against me. That everyone is looking for little mistakes to point out and judge. Like nobody truly cares about me. I’m horrified of showing my work to anyone. It’s this constant string of paranoia and hate that my brain tells myself.